- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by KIP..
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10th September 2019 at 5:02 pm #87776AnonymousInactive
So I have started to date as previously mentioned. We’ve gone on various dates doing various things. I have invited him over for a takeaway. However, I have limited child care options as in no one ever babysits my son over night. I am therefore judging myself as a terrible mum for inviting a man over whilst hes asleep in bed. I know this is because my ex used yo drill into me that if I left him and got someone new he would kill me and I was a bad mum for having men around our son. I do not plan to introduce him to my son as he will be in bed. It frustrates me that years on, my ex’s words still impact my life in the sense where I’m judging my actions as poor ones. Its taken me years to even entertain dating through fear of my ex finding out and trying to kill me. Surely, a takeaway shouldn’t be causing this much stress on my end ?
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10th September 2019 at 10:02 pm #87815EscapeeParticipant
No it shouldn’t. It sounds like you’re a wonderful, caring mum. And regardless of your relationship, you are allowed friends of all genders. You are the boss of you not some wimpy, insecure bully – you enjoy your new life X*X
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11th September 2019 at 12:10 pm #87838colouringinfairyParticipant
You really do sound like a wonderful mum, the fact you are even thinking that way shows how brilliant you are! But no, there is nothing wrong with having a man over – you are your own person, a great mum, and you deserve to be happy. Invite him over and have a great night! x
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11th September 2019 at 12:29 pm #87839KIP.Participant
These threats put me off dating or even speaking to another man. Threats of violence and suicidal threats. That’s their dysfunctional manipulating behaviour. It’s frustrating when his negative voice impacts on you. The only way to move forward is just to ignore them. Even if you say, I accept what you’re saying but I choose to ignore you.
Try to enjoy yourself. You absolutely deserve to be happy. Happy you makes a happy mummy 😃 -
14th September 2019 at 6:47 pm #88000AnonymousInactive
Hi guys, thanks for your reply 🙂 after mulling it over I have decided to go on with our takeaway night. X
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14th September 2019 at 6:54 pm #88002KIP.Participant
👏 yayyy. Enjoy yourself and take it easy x
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