This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 3 days, 11 hours ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #87776
     Movingonandon 
    Participant

    So I have started to date as previously mentioned. We’ve gone on various dates doing various things. I have invited him over for a takeaway. However, I have limited child care options as in no one ever babysits my son over night. I am therefore judging myself as a terrible mum for inviting a man over whilst hes asleep in bed. I know this is because my ex used yo drill into me that if I left him and got someone new he would kill me and I was a bad mum for having men around our son. I do not plan to introduce him to my son as he will be in bed. It frustrates me that years on, my ex’s words still impact my life in the sense where I’m judging my actions as poor ones. Its taken me years to even entertain dating through fear of my ex finding out and trying to kill me. Surely, a takeaway shouldn’t be causing this much stress on my end ?

  • #87815
     Escapee 
    Participant

    No it shouldn’t. It sounds like you’re a wonderful, caring mum. And regardless of your relationship, you are allowed friends of all genders. You are the boss of you not some wimpy, insecure bully – you enjoy your new life X*X

  • #87838
     colouringinfairy 
    Participant

    You really do sound like a wonderful mum, the fact you are even thinking that way shows how brilliant you are! But no, there is nothing wrong with having a man over – you are your own person, a great mum, and you deserve to be happy. Invite him over and have a great night! x

  • #87839
     KIP. 
    Participant

    These threats put me off dating or even speaking to another man. Threats of violence and suicidal threats. That’s their dysfunctional manipulating behaviour. It’s frustrating when his negative voice impacts on you. The only way to move forward is just to ignore them. Even if you say, I accept what you’re saying but I choose to ignore you.
    Try to enjoy yourself. You absolutely deserve to be happy. Happy you makes a happy mummy 😃

  • #88000
     Movingonandon 
    Participant

    Hi guys, thanks for your reply 🙂 after mulling it over I have decided to go on with our takeaway night. X

  • #88002
     KIP. 
    Participant

    👏 yayyy. Enjoy yourself and take it easy x

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