Out but still dwelling on the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have got out of the relationship (Detail removed by Moderator) now. Struggling with life and socially. Informed the police but they did not support me the way I expected so not helpful. Never felt so low as he deleted all the evidence off my phone then I had to get it back. Even after they put me on a low risk and still have not informed me of there outcome feel so let down. It was so difficult for me to take that step and the officers including the head did not even do a risk assessment just said I am a low risk and told me to somehow just block the email. Worst experience. Don’t want to fall back doing my best just have no hope left. Tbh this is my third abusive relationship and I felt like the officers blamed me for being in a relationship with him. How does that work. So unhappy. But anyhow atleast I tried.

[KIP.]

Well done for reporting him. That took guts. Did you speak to the domestic abuse unit? I found the every day police could be less than understanding. It’s sad that you’ve had three abusive relationships but great that you recognise them now. It took me decades to recognise I was being abused. Stand tall. You have the right to feel safe and be treated with respect and have your boundaries respected. It’s going to take time but you will get there. Just concentrate on your own healing meantime x

[fridges]

hello, anonymous,
(Detail removed by Moderator) – it is still all very fresh, more realisation will follow, you will remember even more staff later and will be able to understand more.
you did well!
even that it is your third abusive relationship – it does not mean, you will have only abusive relationships. You are looking now to the devil in the eye, you acknowledged that. I was denying my first abusive relationship, even for myself, covering a bad things. As I was so ashamed, of myself what was done to me and I did not want to fall like that. I did not want to be like my mother – and I have repeated the whole story and even more.
You are looking for the way out and this is a such good thing! Before getting out, i’m sure all of us, had many mistakes done and I have tried many many options to escape at my best ability from both relationships.
Before reaching here – I was out, what made me to look for help, it that I could not cope with post trauma and the attempts to establish control over me again. Plus the fear of the consequences if i will not be’ nice’ so and so will happen to my life. This is not a free will, when someone hold you like this.
Only by cutting him out completely and cut all his attempts to drag you back in, you will become a free woman. Once you are free, with time you will find support. Groups, friends (only the right one, with good clean heart) counselling. X

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