Out of my control

[StrengthfromAbove]

Hi everyone, I have not been on the site for a very long time. i guess me writing about my situation made me realise how bad it is and I have been using not writing anything as my coping mechanism. Today I called 101 to report my husband of how he has been treating me & the policeman came to the house to talk to me before my husband came back from church. I told the policeman what has been happening & that I have been calling my local Women’s Aid leaving voicemails but no one has gotten back to me yet. Now the policeman has invited me to come down to the police station to make a statement because what Im telling him is viewed as coercive control behaviour & that my husband could be arrested.

Im now so worried because I have already made up my mind that I have to get me & the kids out of this situation but since that the police came over I know they will have to report back to Social Services which is making me scared. But I did tell the policeman that i was trying to reachout for help so me & the kids can move out.

Anyone ever experienced this?

[Anabela]

Hello, StrengthfromAbove. I don’t have kids of my own so I am not the best to offer advise or opinion regarding social services. But I just want to show you some support. Well done for talking to police. Well done for wanting a better environment for your kids and yourself. I know it is scary to involve the police in a first place. I used to think my ex was not bothered of such institutions and police is not something that could help me. Only a physical assault made me make a statement and the officers said that I should have reported his verbal abuse before. Then I realised that he is very much scared of them. And I don’t think that without their involvement, the care and support I received, I would have managed to escape my abusive relationship. Stay strong, because you are making the right steps xx

[Ayanna]

This is always reported to social services.
If you cannot get hold of Women’s Aid go to their local office in person. They are good at dealing with social services.
When social services contact you be cooperative and tell them that you need help to get to safety and they need to help you with housing, etc…..

[StrengthfromAbove]

Thanks Anabela, my husband is also making out he’s not bothered by police as he always say i should call them. But lately seems to be plotting against me.

Ayanna thanks too, i didnt know i could go to their office. ill try sorting that after meeting with the police. i really didnt want it to be like this but my husband has been getting away with maltreating me for a long time. i just want my kids to grow in a good environment where they can be kids that they are.

[Tiffany]

If you are trying to leave then social services should support you. Especially if you have evidence of abuse. I don’t have kids and didn’t go down the route of going to the police. Well done you for doing that! Incredibly brave and strong of you. But I know that fear of social services is a tool often used by abusers to keep women with them, but that social services are mostly on our side and staying with an abuser gives us a higher risk of losing kids than getting help. My ex also used to tell me to call the police after he was emotionally abusive – like they wouldn’t believe me and I was overreacting. I know now that I wasn’t overreacting and that there was a good chance that the police would have taken it very seriously. I wish I had made that call now. But honestly, I am out and I am still too scared to report it.

[maddog]

Please do not worry about SS. They are not child snatchers! They can be very helpful towards you and the children. Well done for speaking to the police and making a statement. My husband is not at all afraid of the police either and lies through his teeth and will defend himself to the hilt.

Keep trying with WA. I don’t think they publish addresses for safety reasons, so best to call in advance.

It has taken far too long for me to realise the extent of my husband’s behaviour, and looking back it is shocking. Thank the heavens for WA!!

[StrengthfromAbove]

I went to the police station to do my statement & I must say it felt like weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have been carrying a lot for a very long time, it felt good to off load everything. Police are trying to help me find a refuge & they have also advised me to go to housing too. They also told me SS will be notified so they can also help me. Honestly, im shaking, thinking too much & mind is all over the place at the moment. Im just about to have my first meal for the day because im breastfeeding but not really hungry. I wish I could have a sign telling me its all gonna be ok.

[StrengthfromAbove]

Maddog thank you. Its amazing how much lies can come out from their mouths

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