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    • #83474
      Faraway
      Participant

      Hi ladies, I guess I’m just reaching out because I am overwhelmed. Since joining this forum I’ve had to stop work but I’m going back next week. I feel frail and weak. I’ve lost 25 pounds in six weeks. My 3 kids have all had the flu and a vomiting bug in this time. I now have pneumonia from a complication with my asthma. I’ve just found out my mum is going for testing for lung cancer. I feel like my body is shutting down and this is what maybe happens to old people when they are nearing the end. Since taking time of work I feel depressed but I’m pretty sure it’s situational. I have mediation and court before I go back to work. I have lost the feeling of being hungry but I do eat. I’m trying so hard in my head to stay strong but it’s like my body has given up. I’m too young for this to happen. Am I being over dramatic? Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice would be appreciated as I’m so unsure how to get my body working properly again.

    • #83475
      xpeacex
      Participant

      Hi, your going through alot. Hope your ok. Check out the foods spirulina and maca. These are packed with allsorts, maca helps for weight gain amongst other things. Totally natural and spirulina is used in cases of malnutrition. Can buy both in powder form to have in a smoothie etc for breakfast, also in pill but powder is best.
      Both are good for building energy level up and balancing womens hormones.
      Take care.

    • #83476
      Tobfree
      Participant

      Hi love
      No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed you have been through traumatic abuse which can deplete our bodies physically emotionally and mentally
      And you have had illness with kids to deal with which is all exhausting in its self
      And im sorry to hear about your mum
      you are sounding exhausted overwhelmed as well as you being physically ill

      Have you contacted woman’s aid they will help with support advise
      and there is other woman who go to woman’s aid for support and do programmes like the freedom programme that can totally relate to how you are feeling and with what you have been through and what you are going through
      I got such huge support via woman’s aid and i made such good life long friends too

      Is there a woman’s aid near you is there any friends near by to you
      Is there any one you can turn to for support
      Everything is more bareable with support love and hugs
      Try and get as much rest as you can and eat and look after yourself

      I don’t think you are being dramatic you are traumatised and overwhelmed and naturally so

      i was feeling like this when i got out of the traumatic abuse and i felt like a zombie as my head was a mess and i was just going through the motions seeing to the kids

      I barely slept and lost lots of weight i went down to six stone and the neg thoughts and flashbacks got so severe i felt so ill i couldn’t function properly
      So i went n told my dr and they was fantastic they totally understood why i was feeling like i was
      and they had spotted i was starting with depression and they put me on medication and once that helped me stabilise my moods neg thinking anxiety’s etc this helped me eat a bit better

      The dr also put me on some build up drinks which helped me feel stronger and put the vitamins etc back in my body
      Trauma can effect us in many many ways as can abuse
      And i found that getting support from my gp and from my adult family members and woman’s aid supported me through a very hard time

      You are not alone on this forum and i am sure the lovely ladies on here will give u much support love and advise

      • #83477
        Faraway
        Participant

        Thank you so much xpeacex, I will definitely look into the spirulina! I’m probably am malunourished and making that’s affecting my depression. I just want to feel some energy because at the moment I’m just eating a two slices of toast a day because anything else makes me want to vomit! Thanks for the advice xx

      • #83478
        Faraway
        Participant

        Thanks tobfree, I do see my doctor and I’m on medication for depression but it does not seem to be lifting. I do have help from a women’s advocacy group and great friends who are supportive. I try not to bog them down too much with this though because I don’t want to loose their friendships. I really think I should look into a multivitamin as I will most likely be depleted in everything. I understand what you mean about the zombie state which is what I’m going through now. I was ok for the first 3 months after the split but it’s like everything is hitting me now! It’s so comforting that each time I post somebody reaches out and it really does help so I read other people’s posts and try to respond and give back when I can. Thanks for the support xx

    • #83485
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Dear Faraway

      I am glad you have lota of lovely supportive responses, it makes such a diffetto feeling alone with this. Ita a helluva lot to deal with, and as you say you dont want to put this on your friends.

      I think it can also be very hard for others to truky understand what ttou have all suffered,and can be nice tonkeep your friendships as an eacape from what you have now got away from.

      Do let them in some though, as im sure they will be worried about you if they are food friends.

      They will have noticed your dramstic weight loss for instance and could be very worried.

      Perhaps they could help you out short term, just while you recover from your pneumonia? You need rest and calm just while you get back on your feet. You cannot mess about with pneumonia.

      As you say, you feel like you are shutting down, plus you have court approaching. Take all the help you can get to support you back to health and through court proceedings.

      Maybe a friend could help out with shopping, get lots of things you fancy to treat yourself, along with the very nutritious stuff your body needs to recover and get really strong again.

      Anxiety will completely remove eating urges, as can depression. Fresh air and gentle walks, or just sitting in a green space quietly in the fresh air.

      So sorry to hear your mother is facing this, and can only imagaine what a worry that must be for you too. Let’s hope she’ll be fine and it will turn out to be something else, and if it’s the worst that its treatable.xx

      Rest now, and be kind to yourself, ask for some short term help, and keep posting to get you through.

      Warmest wishes

      TS

    • #83486
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Food friends!!! Ha ha!

      I meant good friends obvs!

    • #83495
      Faraway
      Participant

      Thanks twisted sister! Haha food friends, I had to go back and find it because I read good friends anyway. My friends know the enormous stress I’m under so I do let them in. They are supportive but just don’t understand what it is actually like. I like this forum as we are all in the same boat. I actually cooked chicken, peas and corn for dinner tonight and I forced myself to eat it. Thanks for your kind words. I like what you said about treating myself and I hope I will get the urge soon to do something nice for myself. I have always still gotten my hair done throughout this process so that’s a good start! I think I’ve just got to accept that this year will be extremely hard and my only wish out of this is to feel like I’m mr again. The confident, happy and giving person who found enjoyment in everyday life. I wish that for all of us! God knows we deserve it. Thanks for cheering me up xx

    • #83496
      Faraway
      Participant

      Haha! I meant me again! Not mr again

    • #83497
      fizzylem
      Participant

      Gosh you’re are going through a lot of stress and distress while trying to care for children, I’m suprised you are going back to work F, but maybe you see this as needed? Helpful? Some people find work can be an escape, as it distracts the mind, but if it feels like a pressure then maybe it’s not quite the right time to return.

      Your body is not being nourished is it, it cant get what it needs on two slices of toast. I remember being unable to eat and not do much else, it’s dreadful. The only way out of this is through self care. Try to give yourself 3 things a day, whatever you can manage for now, drink more water, take a multivitamin, drink some juice, just been reading celerey juice is good for energy, go for a walk, buy a magazine and sit in the garden reading it, whatever it is you feel you need and can manage.

      Try not to tell yourself you will recover after court, as ideally you need your strength for it hey, start the self care today, it doesnt have to be going to a fitness class, you can build up to that, start off with small manageable things. Mine were sit outside for 5 minutes and breath in the fresh air, 5 mins of neck exercises (as I suffered with tension in my neck and head), drink 4 glasses of water today, take my dog for a walk, take supplements. All easy to do and better than doing nothing – helped me out of it as if you can stay the course and do these things eventually it will snowball.

      Its a tough one for sure, as you need to come to recognise when it’s one of those times to give in to it and roll with it but when it is also one of those times where you can manage to do something.

      Sorry to read about your mum, sounds like it’s all feeling too top heavy, hope you’re getting some good support x

    • #83509
      Faraway
      Participant

      Thanks fizzylem, reading all the supportive comments has made me realise that my body is very malnourished. I intend to follow up with the spirulina powder and a good multivitamin. I also intend on cooking healthy foods and forcing myself to eat. I know once court is finished I’ll still have to deal with the trauma of the aftermath so I need to get strong. This bout of pneumonia is a wake up call and you ladies have helped me see that. I’ll try your suggestion of the sun too! I know the sun has vitamin D which is good for us. Thanks for the suggestions ladies, I really appreciate it xx

    • #83511
      Seeingclearly
      Participant

      Hi Faraway, it might worth talking to your GP about your anti-depressants. They might not be the right type for you and you may need something for anxiety as well. High levels of anxiety can shut down the appetite – and reduced appetite can be a side effect of anti-depressants. Maybe try drinking full fat milk and nibbling at small nourishing snacks frequently – nuts, fruit and berries and little bits of cheese, even some chocolate. It can be hard to eat a big meal when your stomach is all knotted with fear and stress. You really need some rest and tlc at the minute. If we have no-one to provide it for us, we have to snatch some moments of calm and quiet whenever we can. Even a hot shower can be an opportunity to try and switch off, albeit briefly. And the clean fresh feeling afterwards can make you feel like you at least have something under control! Small things can provide a little bit of comfort when there are so many huge, stressful things going on. I hope you get some rest.

    • #83555
      Faraway
      Participant

      Thanks seeingclearly, I did go back to my doctors today and was diagnosed with depression as well as anxiety so that explains the weight loss. I’ve got a new medication routine to try so we will see how that goes. I’ve been looking online and it actually suggests eating small nuts, peices of cheese, berries and lots of vegetables. I’m so scared by the way I feel I really want to give this food approach a good go. Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it xx

    • #83564
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Deae Faraway

      Well done you for taking so much on, lets hope you start to feel loads better really soon.

      With good food inside you, your brain and emotions will be better supported anyway which should lift you. Anything deep in your lungs can bring depression too, like having flu does.

      Keep your chin up, and focus on al those good things you can do for yourself, enjoy doing those good things for yourself.

      I can hear the changes already!

      Warmest wishes

      TS

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