Pets

[Wanttoleave]

Recently my partner ordered a huge box of bleach, sink unblocker etc.
He was so happy seeing how nervous it made me.

He cleans my cats litter tray with them. Doesn’t dry it properly.
(detail removed by moderator)

I keep begging him not to do this.

Last night I came home to cat chewing a cloth which likely had bleach etc on it.More of a kitten really.

I got really upset rang my mum as he only stops when knows others know.
In retaliation he sent my mum photos of the house (I admit it is a mess as I depressed and spend as little time in it as possible due to bullying from him)

Now my mum sticking up for him , (detail removed by moderator)

Then we spoke later started arguing so I said I’d end conversation she told me to p**s off.

My mum is abusive bullying to me and him.

Iv come to realise why I end up in the relationships I’m used to it.

Sometimes I hope she will help me.
I am a grown adult but I am so dependent on others.

Iv lost all my confidence to even get a better job ,interviews etc.

Just feel very down , lost and unsupported and concerned my pet will be hurt.

My last cat died of (detail removed by moderator)

It’s hard because I can’t prove it was linked to him (she was 15) but he certainly didn’t help.

Sorry just need to vent , the hardest thing in these relationships is keeping anger in as you can get hurt.
So you smile act all is ok , to the point our brains believe it.

I truely believe this is a lot of what trauma bond is

[Lisa]

Hi Wanttoleave,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It must be incredibly worrying for you and it sounds like he is completely disregarding your feelings around this.

Our pets are really important to us and part of the family- a lot of abusive men will use pets against survivors and threaten to harm them as a form of abuse and control.

If you aren’t already I would encourage you to contact your local domestic abuse service for ongoing support with this.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Wanttoleave]

Thank you very much for your reply Lisa I have finally found some help.
Thank you

[Mellow]

This does not sound good your surrounded by toxicity.even if it’s family you can still cut them off your mum is a flying monkey for your partner .and he likes your reaction of hurting your pets this is physchotic. Your situation sounds similar to mine my father was n********t and I ended up dating one. I also depended on others and seek validation from others I didn’t realise till I levy but you have to work on this and try do things for yourself and think for yourself

[Wanttoleave]

Hi Mellow, I’m sorry you have had this as well.
It’s very tough when you feel so down to find the strength to be more independent.
I read a book called Women who love too much – this helps so much and recommend a lot.

Yes my mum heard him shouting abuse on the phone told me it was private and put phone down
Strange.

Thank you for your reply

[Author]

Posts