Please can anyone give me any advice

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone hope you are all as good as can be. U might have read in my last posts about the difficulties I’m having with regards to my sons dad. My son is really seriously poorly in a hospice deteriorating rapidly. What’s hurting me besides all this is if the worse were to happen to him and his dads not seen him. But when my son were in hospital his dad were visiting then but being abusive to me in front of his son in the bed… saying I needed (detail removed by moderator).. this is because I wouldn’t give into him. Hes also saying to my older son that I’m making my sons condition worse by not allowing him to see him. But he wants access in my home only…. I’ve said no. I just dont want to feel bad… any advice welcomed thanks xx

 

[Lisa]

Hi Icandothis

I just wanted to show you some support. I am so sorry to hear about your son’s health, it must be such a difficult time for you.

You are doing the right thing, your son’s dad has shown you that he will only be abusive to you again if you allow contact, you really don’t need his abusive behaviour during a time like this. He only wants access in your home so he can be controlling and it sounds like such a risk to allow this, you are much safer not allowing this. You need to feel safe and able to support your son right now.

I really hope this helps, keep posting to let us know how you are,

Lisa

[Anonymous]

Hi lisa thankyou for for your response. X

[fizzylem]

Gosh you’re in a terrible place ICDT, your focus wants to be on your son doesn’t it, and doing what helps you to get through this. Dad can see him at the hospice no problem hey, when you’re not around. You absolutely need to keep him out of your home so that it is abuse free. I would probably only revoke on this if your son was at home and it sadly becomes a last wish from him – and only then.

I hope you have lots of support, friends and family standing by there for you x

[KIP.]

Just sending support and a virtual 🤗 hug. You are not responsible for the actions of your ex. He has the choice to see his son but he’d rather abuse you instead. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Abusers are liars and he will mess with your head any chance he gets. Concentrate on you and your boy 💕 that’s what matters x

[Author]

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