Viewing 7 reply threads
  • Author
    • #116371

      Hello, I’m new to this forum. I’m quite nervous about posting because I’m usually so self sufficient.

      My marriage ended, not long ago, after a long time of controlling and verbally abusive behaviour and I’m only just learning that I have any value and my needs are important. The end was quite drastic, he set fire to our home and destroyed everything, after promising I would be left with nothing,. His wish came true.

      I’m gradually dealing with things with the support of women’s aid, a couple of good friends and my daughter, who is also dealing with her own trauma.

      He left me with nothing but gave me my freedom and on good days that’s enough.

      I have found my silver lining.

      Everyone on this forum is a survivor. Please look for your silver lining.

    • #116374

      Hi vivet
      I have recently left a n********t and went no contact for a few days but then my children wanted to see there daddy so I let them they now don’t want to come home to me as he is being super dad and buying them everything they are having the time of there life’s (I no it won’t last) but all though my heart is broken that my children don’t want to come home the feeling of being free from him is the best feeling in the world I’m hoping in time things will settle and the children will get into a routine he wants (detail removed by Moderator) custody so I’m hoping we can come to a agreement x

      • #116960

        I just don’t seem to have the courage to go and find mine. I know it’s just out of reach but I can’t make that final step. I want to, I know this isn’t healthy, I know I deserve better than this, I know deep down it isn’t my fault. I don’t like the fact that I am letting myself be verbally and mentally abused, and letting him do it to me. He doesn’t even acknowledge that he is. All I get is I’m mental and need help. now he’s come back asking me to say sorry for hitting his shoulder and we can leave it. I know I should have said yes just to get peace back because this makes me feel sick. But no, I’ve said no, I’ve had enough now, I said in the summer if it happens again I’m going. Trouble is I’ve said it so often no one believes it. I’ve worked so hard these last few months towards feeling happier, I’ve got support from mind, but I know deep down what the real problem is and I know the answer I just can’t get on and do it. I don’t think I can cope with the upheaval and work full time, and Christmas is coming so I’m going to be spoiling everyone’s Christmas. I’m going round and round in circles.

      • #116962

        We’ve all lacked the courage at some point, but one day you’ll be ready. In the meantime, educate yourself about domestic abuse and keep using the forum.

    • #116401
      Main Moderator

      Hi Vivet,

      Welcome to the Forum and thank you for posting. I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through. I hope you find the Forum a supportive place to be with other Survivors. Thank you for your positivity and for sharing with us.

      Please do keep posting to us when you are able to.

      Best wishes,


    • #116988

      warm thoughts xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • #117007

      Welcome Vivet so pleased you are free and safe at last and you and your daughter can slowly rebuild and process what sounds to have been very traumatic experiences. Keep reaching out x

    • #123001

      It’s taken a while and I’m now finding my voice and my strength.

      Thank you all xx

    • #123006

      Sending you warmest wishes and hugs. You are brave and strong x*x

    • #123055

      Welcome back vivet – you bring great warmth wisdom and bravery. It takes so long doesn’t it – but that’s ok x

Viewing 7 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs


Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account