Please I need to hear I can do it

[Anonymous]

I’m needy I’m sorry I just don’t know where to turn without fully exposing my shambles of a marriage .
I’m done I’m so drained. I am feeling so unable to even muster the fight to see anything through other than surviving and keeping my kids from seeing all.
I’m working but unproductive I’m scared to be fired.
I’m dealing as best I can but I’m running low on excuses for him and for me.
I can’t do it all.
I’m not even scared any more of him just resigned it’s defeat isn’t it.
How did you ladies leave how did you do it I am such a whimp I can’t muster the courage .
And I’m a broken record . Im sorry
I wouldn’t treat even a bug under a foot the way I feel I’m treated.
What do I do wrong so much

[AlwaysSorry]

You aren’t doing anything wrong. You are not to blame. You do not deserve any of his despicable abuse.
If you are ready, get WA on board, let them help you make a plan for you and your children. Let them help you become free. It’s hard, but it can be done. You just have to take that step and tell them. If he is hurting you again which I fear he is, you can tell the police. You just need to tell once.
You aren’t needy. You are scared and hurt and wonder what on earth you did to be treated like this. But none of this is your fault. None of it. It will be hard, but you and your children can be free of him. Please call WA. I believe in you x

[Anonymous]

I’m so terrified of him being in trouble . Yet have moments when I wish he was caught out . So many people I’ve encountered who clearly “ know” to an extent of things I fear justvthink it’s marriage and it’s what I knew beforehand. Or maybe I’ve assumed they know by perhaps they really don’t.

I’m so grateful for you replying .

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want to get my ex into trouble for a long time. But in the end, I knew it was the only way I could escape. And how did it help him to be accountable for his behaviour if I was just covering it up?

One day you’ll be ready, I promise you. You don’t deserve any of what you’re getting. Speak to Womens Aid and dare to dream of being free x

[Anonymous]

I will try and dream and keep imagining I really don’t see how it could ever turn out ok. It honestly feels like There will not be an end . I agree how will someone be accountable but he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong! I could show him all the pictures of every single incident or actually now I feel they were more attacks not incidents he always said incident as if I had equal part but I’m sure I didn’t . But he will have an answer for all . He’s stopped lower the last few weeks than I ever imagined Possible and I can’t ever tell anyone.

[Tiffany]

That last sentence of yours rang so many bells for me Anononagain. You can’t leave because you can’t tell anybody.

That’s how you get out. You stop covering for him and tell someone. Then it’s not just you in your own head wondering if you are going mad. There are other people telling you his behaviour is wrong and helping you get away and move on.

To begin with it was terrifying to tell people what had happened to me. I was a bright well educated woman. I thought they would think I was stupid. Or overreacting. Or mad and had imagined it. I was overwhelmed to discover that they believed me and supported me. And ultimately got me out.

You can do it too. Start by telling someone. Women’s aid, if you can get through, but also maybe your doctor. Let them help you. You deserve so much better. You deserve your life back.

[Anonymous]

I started by telling just one person. Then it grew. Now everyone knows. I did nothing wrong, why should I cover it up?

I also felt I’d never get out, but I did. And you will. I wont pretend it’s easy, but it’s possible. Please give WA a call as soon as you can x

[Hokeycokey]

Hi. It’s not needy being scared of abuse and not being able to see a way out.

All the replies are so right though about telling someone. It’s a huge step in taking back some power by hearing your voice describe what he’s doing. You’ll start to have some clarity instead of all the fog that you feel now.

I started to tell a couple of close friends who I knew cared about me. They were horrified at what had been happening.

Please call women’s aid they’ll listen for as long as you need – not judging. They’re brilliant and helped me end my abusive relationship which was escalating very quickly and I was terrified.

Take care. Xx

[EbonyRaven]

I remember having that sad, resigned feeling. Knowing he would never stop, and not knowing how I could get out of it. Knowing I was done, that I could never feel the same as I had about him again.

You will get out. Start small, talk to Women’s Aid, just talk. Maybe contact your local WA and go in for a chat.

They will listen without judgement, even if you don’t leave immediately. The relief of telling someone who believes you will be worth it.

[Author]

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