2nd February 2020 at 12:48 pm #96938
This my first time on forum, I posted a reply in the wrong place and still got wonderfully supportted so thought I’d share here. I feel totally blind sighted I thought my marriage was amazing, the first time I recognised the abuse it was because he accused me of something I didn’t do in such a chilling manner, the second time was the same, he brushed both of these off told me to move on. The third one it was as if one minute I dint exist, literally he was so cold to me I couldn’t believe it, this was followed up quickly by niceness all over me, then he drugged and raped me. I was broken, I couldn’t take any food or drink from him for the fear he would redrug me. I couldn’t tell anyone as he’s prominent in the community and everyone loves him. He’s isolated me and been to all our friends already. I made him move out and changed the locks, I know if I let him back I’m risking my life. I’ve got a job but no one knows any of this. I cry all the time, I hide in the house triple check my way to work and I also don’t know how to move forward, I don’t even know who I am.
2nd February 2020 at 1:19 pm #96941KIP.Participant
Hi, no wonder you’re shocked and traumatised. Rape crisis have a helpline manned by lovely ladies and I think it would be worth giving them a ring. Also, please talk to your GP and have his actions logged with her. What he did to you is illegal and I’d also advise you talking to the police. You can ask to speak to specialist officers who deal with domestic abuse and sexual offences. Women’s aid are a wonderful support too. It’s this time where you need to reach out and take all the help offered. Ask you GP for some counselling. Read Living with the Dominator and have a look at ‘the cycle of abuse’. It’s going to take time for your brain to process what has happened to you. Meantime, take baby steps. Force yourself to eat and drink and try to confide in someone you trust. Abuse thrives on silence x
2nd February 2020 at 1:49 pm #96942fizzylemParticipant
You’ve done brilliantly to get to this stage; but now its time to give yourself what you need and recover from the trauma. Agree with KIP, reach out to Rape Crisis and the GP, you need some support here and most likely some of it professional support. You could also approach the local Womens Centre if there is one; therapy is likely needed, so looking into what are your options for this is needed, must be with a trained professional in trauma and domestic abuse with experience of at least 7 years in this kind of work; lots of exercise and self care practices or building these up if you are starting from very little x
4th February 2020 at 7:08 am #97046
Thank you, I was so low today my head went to some really dark places. I went to g gp and she was excellent. I am going back next week. I will look for other resources. Really hanging in by a thread, thank you for your support.
4th February 2020 at 7:55 am #97047freedomfries01Participant
You are doing amazingly shocked. Going and speaking to someone and telling them face to face is so hard. Keep going and keep posting 💖
5th February 2020 at 10:34 am #97132
Thank you all, I think my appointment was 30 mins with GP and I literally choked out the worst and I was amazed because she believed me. When I left I felt heard. I’ve been isolated by him and then by me for fear of talking and no one believing me. If I’m going To survive and I am then I’m going to start talking, only to people like this forum and professionals for now but it feels like a good start.
19th February 2020 at 10:28 pm #98110SunshineeeParticipant
I’m glad your seeking support and feel like you’re moving in the right direction. Words are so powerful and you are using the power of your own voice and that truly is amazing. It’s such a difficult thing to open up about but you’re doing it in your own time and your own pace and you should be very very proud of yourself x
20th February 2020 at 1:22 am #98114KIP.Participant
We all hung on by a thread for quite some time but it’s amazing how strong that thread actually is. You’re doing great opening up and even coming on here takes huge courage. Keep taking baby steps. Sounds like you’ve got a great GP. I was terrified no one would believe me but that’s our abusers voice in our head. Everyone believed me and eventually a Judge did too x
3rd March 2020 at 4:59 am #98664DenialParticipant
Hi I’m new to the forum and not sure how to even go about saying what I want to but here goes.
Ex and I officially ended things(detail removed by moderator) We where friends for(detail removed by moderator) years before dating. (detail removed) into dating it began my dresses where to tight for work they where to short needed to be on the knee I couldn’t go any where because I was advertising myself apparently then couldn’t speak to guys who where friends because I work in a mall I walked up and down to much then I so happenly had something with my boss every single day it was a new topic to dig about but there where good times alot we where close and when together there wasn’t issues however when I wasn’t with him the nightmare started eventually he got upset with me for not telling me something that happen along time ago and said I lied my entire relationship then he left after much begging he decided okay make it work but the entire time was talking to me rudely until the next day just told me he can’t work it out I must f off from his life called me the b word.
Guys everything he wanted done I did everyday I even needed to take pics at work just to show I’m not using something that’s open even when I told the truth I was lying in his eyes.
His left me so broken I don’t even know how to pick myself up
I’ve blocked removed the app from my phone as well just not to snoop on Facebook being doing alot of reading and realized he has all the red flags of a narcassist
I sleep thinking of him waking up thinking of him
How does someone who says they love you so much walk away like you never existed.
With much love I’d appreciate any advice tips I could get now
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