This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Shocked 1 week, 5 days ago.

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  • #96938
     Shocked 
    Participant

    This my first time on forum, I posted a reply in the wrong place and still got wonderfully supportted so thought I’d share here. I feel totally blind sighted I thought my marriage was amazing, the first time I recognised the abuse it was because he accused me of something I didn’t do in such a chilling manner, the second time was the same, he brushed both of these off told me to move on. The third one it was as if one minute I dint exist, literally he was so cold to me I couldn’t believe it, this was followed up quickly by niceness all over me, then he drugged and raped me. I was broken, I couldn’t take any food or drink from him for the fear he would redrug me. I couldn’t tell anyone as he’s prominent in the community and everyone loves him. He’s isolated me and been to all our friends already. I made him move out and changed the locks, I know if I let him back I’m risking my life. I’ve got a job but no one knows any of this. I cry all the time, I hide in the house triple check my way to work and I also don’t know how to move forward, I don’t even know who I am.

  • #96941
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi, no wonder you’re shocked and traumatised. Rape crisis have a helpline manned by lovely ladies and I think it would be worth giving them a ring. Also, please talk to your GP and have his actions logged with her. What he did to you is illegal and I’d also advise you talking to the police. You can ask to speak to specialist officers who deal with domestic abuse and sexual offences. Women’s aid are a wonderful support too. It’s this time where you need to reach out and take all the help offered. Ask you GP for some counselling. Read Living with the Dominator and have a look at ‘the cycle of abuse’. It’s going to take time for your brain to process what has happened to you. Meantime, take baby steps. Force yourself to eat and drink and try to confide in someone you trust. Abuse thrives on silence x

  • #96942
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    You’ve done brilliantly to get to this stage; but now its time to give yourself what you need and recover from the trauma. Agree with KIP, reach out to Rape Crisis and the GP, you need some support here and most likely some of it professional support. You could also approach the local Womens Centre if there is one; therapy is likely needed, so looking into what are your options for this is needed, must be with a trained professional in trauma and domestic abuse with experience of at least 7 years in this kind of work; lots of exercise and self care practices or building these up if you are starting from very little x

  • #97046
     Shocked 
    Participant

    Thank you, I was so low today my head went to some really dark places. I went to g gp and she was excellent. I am going back next week. I will look for other resources. Really hanging in by a thread, thank you for your support.

  • #97047
     freedomfries01 
    Participant

    You are doing amazingly shocked. Going and speaking to someone and telling them face to face is so hard. Keep going and keep posting 💖

  • #97132
     Shocked 
    Participant

    Thank you all, I think my appointment was 30 mins with GP and I literally choked out the worst and I was amazed because she believed me. When I left I felt heard. I’ve been isolated by him and then by me for fear of talking and no one believing me. If I’m going To survive and I am then I’m going to start talking, only to people like this forum and professionals for now but it feels like a good start.

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