I saw my case worker today and she was so supportive and encouraging,it felt like such a relief to talk to someone about the way my husband has been treating me. So she did the assessment and ended up recommending I report to the police for coercive control. (Detail removed by moderator) Other than (detail removed by moderator) instances of pushing, there has been no physical violence (and I realised today I don’t recall a lot of detail, just that it happened and how but not what lead up to it, dates etc). I also have never spoken to a single soul about his abuse which I know won’t go in my favour. I just wonder how realistic an arrest is and would I not be better off going down the civil route, I can’t make my mind up.
It’s definitely worth speaking to the police. If you’re still being abused, keep a diary of everything that happens, and if you’ve had unwanted sexual attention or been coerced into having sex, speak about that as well. It so often goes with the territory.
If you don’t want the police to speak to your husband, let them know. If your husband is unpredictable, let them know how he frightens you.
The police will be able to help and support you. Also, please speak to your GP and anyone officially involved in family life.
None of this is your fault, and you are speaking about your experience of someone else’s behaviour. We so often normalise abuse and blame ourselves.
Your husband will behave in exactly the same way to anyone. There’s nothing personal about it. It’s just that you’ve got ensnared by this man, and these people are devious. They don’t think in the same way as normal people.