Police just left

[EbonyRaven]

He just turned up on my doorstep. I’m still shaking. He was just knocking, and knocking on the door and window. No-one comes here unannounced in the evening so I knew straight away something wasn’t right, and I managed to sneak a look out and see it was him without him seeing me.

Called the police immediately, and went and sat upstairs. I could see out from where I was and watched him go and try the doors to my car, as well as put some bags behind it.

Apparently he’s sleeping rough with nowhere to go. I know that they have to house people in our area with substance abuse issues, through an initiative that’s in place, so I am guessing he’s denied the alcohol problem again. He’s used alcohol as an excuse always, and I do wonder now if his reluctance to seek help is because he knows it’s an excuse and he’s afraid of that being found out.

The police have taken him away, out of the area now, with his bags, and told me to call them straight away if he turns up again.

I’m alternating through a spectrum of scared, relieved, anxious, guilty, angry, and astonishment that he honestly thought I’d let him back in. The sheer arrogance of it!

I hope that’s the only time, and he’s got the message now, that I will totally refuse to engage with him, and call the police, and that he’s wasted his time and energy coming here. It’s making me anxious though that he could be out there waiting when I go out to go to work, walk the dog, or come home from work. I’m worried about what this confirmation of my rejection of him will do.

I wish he’d taken me seriously when I asked him to go, and offered to help him with finding a place.

[KIP.]

That must have been really frightening. If he has breached bail conditions then please ensure the police charge him and put him in front of a Judge. In my experience it’s whoever shouts the loudest and keeps on top of things that gets heard. I once read an article about these men and how you must throw everything at them. Police, courts, lawyers etc. If they’re tied up elsewhere they have less time for you. Get a personal alarm if you haven’t already. They’re cheap and make a hell of a noise. He’s not your responsibility. He’s a grown man and can fend for himself. They often put in a front, loose weight and play the victim. Mine was seeing another woman, staying in hotels and holidaying abroad with her while trying to play the victim so don’t overthink, it’s a game to them just stay safe and vigilant x

[Anonymous]

Oh wow, that’s so scary! I feel for you. I kept taking my alcoholic ex back because he had nowhere to go. In the end, I put my foot down and he’s with a family member. They only stepped in when they had to.

I got a personal alarm from the local police’s dv charity and feel much safer with it, so I agree with KIP that you should try to get one.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this x

[EbonyRaven]

I’m definitely going to get one, I’ll feel so much safer just having it with me I think.

Apparently they took him to the hospital and he was seen by a crisis team then discharged. Then he ‘went missing’. The police rang me for permission to release his picture to the media, and to ask if I could think of anywhere he might go. How someone homeless can go missing I’m not sure, unless he’s supposed to sign in at the station and didn’t.

So, after what felt like an extremely long day I thought I’d play a mind numbing game on the console. Switched it on and it automatically signed in as him. First thing that appears is a message he’s sent his lady friend to tell her he’s safe, and her reply. With luck he’s staying somewhere far away from here. I let the police know, and sent them a photo of the message.

I’ve set the machine to sign in as me now, I don’t need to be reading their messages. Yuk.

[Author]

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