Police not helping

[TulipLily]

I’m so frustrated and upset, I’ve contacted the police over my ex partner whom I left (detail removed by moderator) but has continued to control me and harass me. Due to various financial ties that have only been resolved recently I have had to stay ‘friends’ with him. He constantly messages me or puts intimidating posts on social media and has accused me of many affairs including with a close friend who he now sends harassing texts to. He has had me followed, tracked my car mileage and taped phone calls when I lived with him. The police have said that even though there is evidence of some stalking, harassment and coercive control they can’t do anything other than have a word as I have not told him to leave me alone- too scared to do it as I needed to sort the financial things out to be afford to live. Also because he hasn’t made direct threats and everything could be a coincidence even though he has gone through my personal belongings to find things out and has turned up unannounced on (detail removed by moderator) with flowers(apparently that is an expected visit) they can’t do anything. I feel that because he hasn’t hit me and I’m not physical scared they won’t take it seriously. The officer was a DV trained one I believe and when I have spoke to the stalking helpline they said I have got a case and when I spoke to the control room they flagged me up as high risk. I know feel that this is all my fault and I have to live with the anxiety and paranoia he has given me, I’m half expecting them to say I was wasting their time. Just don’t know what to do. I think I’ve now made it all worse as he will think he is untouchable and can do what he wants.

 

[KIP.]

Hi there. Please ring your local women’s aid for support with this. In my experience it’s whoever shouts the loudest and I’d advise you to make a formal complaint. That way it will be looked at by a much more senior officer. Your post makes perfect sense to me so use that as your basis. The complaint can be made online or by ringing 101. These officers should be doing a thorough investigation and taking your statement for future victims Too as these men are very often serial offenders and it’s not only you he’s harassing so could this other person also make a statement? Don’t minimise your abuse. It becomes normal to us but it’s dangerous and far from acceptable and legal.

[Author]

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