Positive experience getting out

[Chocolatebunnie]

I’m wondering if you lovely people can share some experiences of getting out with a happy ending as I’m now wanting to move forward, making plans, feeling frightened and overwhelmed.

Need to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

[Lisa]

Hello Chocolatebunnie,

I’m sure other users will be along to share some positivity and encouragement soon, but in the meantime I just wanted to direct you to the ‘Positive Moments’ forum, as there are lots of relevant posts there to browse. https://survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk/forums/forum/positive-moments/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Chocolatebunnie]

Thank you x*x

[Teaandcats]

I’d really appreciate reading some positive ‘get out’ stories too. Or even some not-completely-awful stories.

[Anonymous]

Hi I’m also new to the forum I’ve started my life over again, been about (detail removed by Moderator) I’m free from my ex living with me . I have no contact now , although this was really hard to begin with I took each day step by step and felt stronger as time went on . I still have my wobble days I call them , but I have never had any regret from leaving my abusive relationship. I was in a mess for about a year picking up the pieces , breaking down in tears at how I was going to cope with everything that was going on , but you know what I did it , now I’m going to work , my son is settled and happy , I’m renovating my house and have other projects in the pipeline . I was also struggling with debt , but I sorted out all my money worries . As my ex wanted full attention on him I was unable to go to work , business that needed after he stopped me from doing , my son wasn’t getting my full attention as my ex created so much drama it was like having a newborn to deal with constantly. Now I can do what I want when I want and no longer have to answer to my ex in everything I do . Financially Iam better off without him now and I have peace of mind , sanity in my life . There is light at the end of the tunnel , you just got to focus on yourself, surround yourself with a good support network also . Good luck xx

[Anonymous]

Remember your already strong and brave by making the first steps of thinking of your future and getting out , so your halfway there , be proud of every little even small achievement day by day xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

Aww thanks for your reply you’ve done amazingly, just what I needed to read, some of the things I’m anxious about you’ve tackled and succeeded, I’m glad you and your son now have a good balance of everything and despite it all you did it.

Inspirational and giving me more hope thank you x*x

[wildandfree]

Hey Chocolatebunnie

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is bright and wonderful!

I have been free for * years.It took me years to leave and countless attempts. But now I am free. Free is the best word I can use to describe my life now. For (detail removed by Moderator) decades I felt trapped, like this is all I deserve. My self esteem was rock bottom. I couldn’t understand how this man that claimed to adore me, could treat me so badly. I was just plodding through life because I couldn’t see any way that it would get better and I couldn’t get out. But I did.

Life after? Oh my goodness, nothing would convince me to go back. Things did not change over night, but I look back on my journey and I really like who I am. I really, really like me and my life. I am free to make my own choices, I am free to make my own mistakes. I have done things that have challenged me. (detail removed by Moderator) I solo (detail removed by Moderator) across my county, and camped on route. Not a big event for some, but I felt so proud of myself. I have taken myself of camping and exploring alone because I can, and there is no one to demand to know where I am 24 hours a day.

I have met a wonderful man, and finally I know what it feels like to be loved. And to be able to return love in a healthy way. I have got a job I love, and I am looking to either study for another degree or to start my own business. In fact I am now free to make any decision I want, that there are almost too many!

I totally get the fear of leaving. For years all I could see was a big black hole of nothingness and loneliness. I couldn’t see a future. But now I am out and I am grateful every single day.

You can do it. It is not easy. It is heartbreaking at times. So many times I thought ‘but what if this is a mistake’ or ‘ what if I regret it’. But I never have. There is so much life out there!

Good luck. Trust your instinct!

[nbumblebee]

@chocolatebunnie Thanks for asking this question sometimes we need to hear that there is a light even if we cant yet see it xx

[Teaandcats]

Thank you The Dutchess and wildandfree for your stories, and to chocolatebunnie for starting this thread x

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