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Hi All, I’m sorry it’s been a while. As lots of you know, I left my abusive ex, and I didn’t go back. I’d be lying if I said it was a smooth ride. It’s been (detail removed by moderator) now and he still sends me emails, presents to my parents house, letters, tries to communicate with me via (detail removed by moderator) but guess what… I’ve managed to cut him off everything. Since the day I left he’s had no contact from me, so him contacting me is irrelevant.
I wanted to keep this short. I wanted to post something which I wrote tonight, for everybody on this forum. As PurpleCloud, I never believed I would ever leave, but I’m not PurpleCloud anymore, I’m (detail removed by moderator). You ALL have the strength to leave. ALL of you and you will. Maybe not now, or next month, but you WILL.
I wrote this from the whole of my heart, so please read, especially if you’re having a bad day. Love to each and everyone of you, you all quite literally saved my life, and I want to continue to support you all.
“Nobody ever believes it can happen to them.. a nice house? Good career? A professional yourself even? Lots of friends, even popular? Doesn’t mean they can’t control, use violence, even put you in hospital more times than you can count. Those broken things? You convince yourself you didn’t need it or you shouldn’t have said whatever it is they tell you, you said. Your family that you’re close with, you now only see twice a year… your friends know how beautiful your home is from Instagram but then you realise they don’t even have your address.. You don’t realise how bad things are until you LEAVE. You leave with no conversation because you leaving to them isn’t an option. You think leaving is the hardest part, but it’s not. Staying until it’s too late is the hardest part.. for everybody, for you.. and for those who love you who desperately know something is wrong but they’re afraid to tell you because they know you’ll be dishonest. You think it’ll all stop when you leave but it doesn’t, it’s bad, the control is yours because for the first time in years you start to talk, and they hate it. It’s easier to go back, or so you think.. but trust me when I say NOTHING can ever be as bad as placing yourself back in that dangerous situation. Because that’s all it is, a situation, and that’s all it’ll ever be. You get your friends and family back, you get your life and YOU back. You move to that city you always wanted too, buy that house you were told you could never buy, sure.. you lose a few things.. but things are things and can be replaced, you can’t. Now that is enough of a reason to leave. I was “PurpleCloud” for a long time, but now I’m (detail removed by moderator), and I’m not going anywhere”.
Much love to all of you <3
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WOW purplecloud – amazing positivity! I remember saying to you all clouds pass and beyond the clouds there is blue sky a brilliant future for you and you will use this wisdom wisely. Well done – stay strong x*x
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@watersprite – I remember those exact words too. I remember each and every word. Thank you so much. I can’t believe I stayed in something so bad and dangerous for so long. I know we all feel this eventually, but we are the fortunate ones being able to reflect, knowing we are now safe. Without you, without the ladies on women’s aid I wouldn’t have been able to write this post. I feel so appreciative 💓
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You’ve made my heart sing!! 💕 💕 I just had a rubbish day but just as I was turning out the light I thought I’d check in to here, and there is your post! Thanks so much for letting us know how you’re doing and that you’re not PC anymore! 😃 xxxxx
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@iliketea – I’m so happy you read this post, I was hoping you would!! Thanks for everything @iliketea – I often think about you and yours posts, you supported me to leave, and to make the right decision. This forum is absolutely amazing. You know, I didn’t tell my Dad about what happened, I just couldn’t. But having this forum is incredible because you ALL understand, NOBODY is judgemental, and I can just be myself and honest and honestly.. that’s all I want out of life now, to be unapologetically me, and I want all ladies on here to strive for the same. Even on the bad days, we come on here, and that shows how strong we really are.. reaching out is the first step, and from there you just become stronger and stronger and then we leave. When I see posts asking “is this abuse” – I remember me feeling the same, and asking the same, and I was embarrassed I had to ask that but little did I know that was the day everything started to change.. it gets worse before it gets better, but when it gets better, it only gets better and better as we begin to take the right steps to freedom. I really hope you are doing well @iliketea 💓💓💓
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@empoweredhealing – 💓 I hope you well? 💓
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Thank you PurpleCloud. I’m constantly amazed how all you incredible women give support, love and hope. We may have spent far to long being crushed, but this forum is proof that the abuse doesn’t destroy that love and strength that is at the core of all of us. Yes the abuse buries it down, sometimes so far that we don’t think it’s there any more. But it is. Thank you for showing us yours. xxxx
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