Processing trauma

[Peaceful Pig]

I had a flashback last night for the first time in months because I was triggered by being disturbed at the same time of night my ex would usually rape me. It was such a surprise because it’s been so long. The gaps become longer all the time. In some ways it felt worse because it contrasts with my now usual calm, happy feelings. But it was different. I experienced the situation with the intensity of it happening right there and then, but I reacted with my new-found care for myself. I was so angry and fighting back. I spoke and acted in the way I would have if I’d cared about myself, if I’d believed I had rights to my own body, if I’d known it was wrong and I wasn’t too scared to say so. It’s given me a new appreciation for the trauma it caused me every time, even though I stifled all my feelings back then. I think it’s been healthy to relive the experience from a new, stronger perspective and exorcise those feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Processing trauma is a long process but I can really feel progress. If you’re still in the thick of PTSD, have hope, our minds are powerful things which can protect and heal us xx

[Confused123]

HI HUn

Sounds like u progressing so much , obviuously any trigger is not nice but u seem to have dealt with it in a way that u can handle

[pink rose]

I had PTSD and still get the occasional flashbacks still. This is my understanding of it. When we are traumatised our mind becomes emotionally numb, we literally go into survival mode, the traumatic memories and emotions are then archived in part of the brain. When we are out of the situation and are safe then these memories can resurface with the associated feelings, its part of the healing process even though it doesnt feel that way. I found that if I listened to music through my mobile phone headphones when they surface it takes my mind off them. Also journalling can help in the midst of a flashback to then go back and look at it

[KIP.]

Thank you for sharing this. I seemed to have been doing well then last week I was watching a drama when the man on the TV was locked out by his partner. He was shouting and kicked in the door, chasing her round the house. I lept off the couch, ran around not even knowing what I was doing, crying, heart racing. I scared myself because I had no control. It came from nowhere. After I calmed down I could reason it out because of the therapy I’m having. Before I would have been in a state for days. It does become easier with the knowledge and understanding to deal with the effects of their abuse. Good riddance to bad rubbish X

[Serenity]

That’s great, PP.

Triggers are horrendous things. I had an incident a week or so ago when my youngest said some things to me and it reminded me of my ex’s disrespect, plus I felt my ex was turning my youngest against me, and the deep fear and sadness set in and I was in panic mode. I managed to do breathing exercises in the moment. It really helped.

It’s great that we are all finding ways to manage our triggers x

[Peaceful Pig]

Thanks all, they really can pop up out of the blue and make us get ‘back there’ in an instant. I really think having a good understanding of trauma and how it functions is important to managing triggers when they happen. It helps me see them rationally (afterwards) and not feel set back for days xx

[fizzylem]

Made up for you – you’re really getting somewhere now! You’re sounding v self-empowered. Good post, thank you.

[Nova]

PP thanks for sharing…it’s reassuring to know that these feelings/triggers will be processed in a manageable way, much kinder on us!

Definitely understanding the trauma process helps..your so right, as this gives us insight into exactly what is happening & why, so important to recognise the symptoms, & aim for a inner calm…it takes away the confusion, which helps me.
Trauma affects us mentally & physicaly, that’s fact.

Cx

[Ayanna]

Thank you for sharing. You give me so much hope with your post.

One day we will embrace life, live to the fullest and kick the a***s of abusers at the same time 🙂

[Peaceful Pig]

I’m so glad this post has been helpful. I found the books ‘Trauma and recovery’ by Judith Herman and ‘The body keeps the score’ by Bessel can see Kolk particularly helpful in understanding and finding the right ways for me to heal. Both have interviews online as well xx

[Author]

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