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    • #135034
      SingleMomSurvivor
      Participant

      I’m not able to give specifics about what happened because that would be identifying information, but my ex engaged in yet another word vomit rant and I responded in a neutral way and didn’t get sucked into defending myself. I feel so proud of myself and like I’m in control. It feels so good knowing that this time he didn’t get a reaction out of me. I also was able to brush off the nonsense he was saying and realize that it was all just a bunch of lies meant to upset me.I know that abuse can escalate when survivors grey rock so I am taking additional precautions to ensure my safety. Today is a good day and I need this.

    • #135035
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Oh well done SMS!

      Having a difficult day here, but counting up the positives. DD done college work.
      Me pressed on with decluttering to be picked up tomorrow so that’s good.

      Grey rock is so important. I slipped out of it quite a bit at times.

      • #135043
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Hope your day got better sweetie. Sending you hugs in case you needed one xx

      • #135050
        SingleMomSurvivor
        Participant

        I hope your day gets better too 💜. I agree with you, grey rock is really hard and I’ve definitely slipped out of it before.

    • #135038
      KIP.
      Participant

      Well done. Taking control back is really important in recovery x staying safe is important too. Sometimes they will push harder so please involve the police if you have to.

      • #135046
        SingleMomSurvivor
        Participant

        Thank you for this reminder! I absolutely believe he will push back harder to try to get some sort of reaction. Actually back when we were still living together I went grey rock for an extended period and he ultimately ended up physically assaulting me. We are no longer together & not in the same house but I still will be taking extra precautions, keeping my distance, and never ever being anywhere alone with him ever, or anywhere at the same time as him for that matter. And yes definitely calling the police if I need to.

    • #135042
      Grey Rock
      Participant

      Yay! Go you!!!
      🤗

      • #135047
        SingleMomSurvivor
        Participant

        Thank you!!! There are so many times where the abuse has left me feeling down & depleted. It’s nice to feel empowered for a change.

    • #135044
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Love this well done its certainly not easy to do x

      • #135048
        SingleMomSurvivor
        Participant

        Thank you!! It is definitely not at all easy. As he was spewing out all his hatred I had so many things running through my mind that I wanted to say in response. But, everything I thought of saying, no matter how rational & correct, would have just been something that he would have reacted to in some abusive way so instead I just kept my response very neutral and bland.

      • #135052
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Huge well done you should be so proud took alot of guts that. Xxxxx

    • #135068
      SingleMomSurvivor
      Participant

      I just want to say grey rock is hard because it goes against the natural instinct we have to stand up for ourselves. I had a moment today where I woke up really angry, and thought to myself “you know what, I won’t let him get away with saying these awful things about me! I’m going to let him know why what he said isn’t accurate.” I started rehearsing what I would say, but as I thought about it I realized 2 things: #1) He knows the awful things he says about me are lies. It’s not that he’s some misinformed person who needs help getting his facts straight. HE KNOWS! Therefore me trying to correct his inaccurate statements is pointless. #2) There is absolutely no response that I could have in an effort to defend myself that he wouldn’t respond to abusively. None! So it would be pointless to try to respond further. Knowing these two facts helped me manage my anger this morning and not reach out to try to correct him or give him a piece of my mind. I’m glad I made that decision. Grey rock sure can be tough sometimes.

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