Psychic mediums and clairvoyants

[BeautyMarked]

I’m super sceptical when it comes to things like this, but I feel like I’ve got such big decisions. I can’t sleep at night for thinking about him. I cry all day for the same reasons. Whether I’m remembering the good or the bad. I still want him. The only time I’m feeling strong is when I’m focussed on my various channels where I am trying to pursue justice. But there’s always a niggling doubt. Always a feeling that he didn’t mean it and that if I’d just told the Dean right away that I need to speak to him because it involved a pregnancy he would have encouraged him to sort it out like he said he would rather than insisting on this no contact. There’s part of me that hopes it’s all salvageable. Naive maybe. I’m that desperate that I’ve thought about consulting some kind of psychic in the hopes that it might guide me into whether I should grovel or pursue justice.

Has anyone had any kind of reading done before? What was your experience?

[Tiffany]

The closest I have come is using a daft webpage called “consult the inner wisdom oracle”, which asks you to think of a life situation and throws out messages like these:

“What is holding me back or causing me pain?
PREOCCUPATION
Is there something I need to be alert to in my situation?
HOSTILITY
What insight will help me at this time?
PREPARE FOR RADICAL CHANGE”

Or

“What is holding me back or causing me pain?
FORCING THINGS
Is there something I need to be alert to in my situation?
SOMEONE IS MISUNDERSTOOD
What insight will help me at this time?
ACCEPT IT”

Or

“What is holding me back or causing me pain?
ISOLATION
Is there something I need to be alert to in my situation?
ENVY
What insight will help me at this time?
APPLY JUST ENOUGH PRESSURE TO MOVE THINGS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION”

I mean, they are just randomly generated messages. But I often feel like they have helped me think in new ways. Just by analysing whether what they say is true. And if so what I can do about it. Actually I think that by chance these messages are possibly more relevant to you than me right now. I have friends with small children staying at the moment: I am definitely not suffering from isolation… I am pretty sure that no one is misunderstood in my life right now, etc etc.

Basically they apply more to difficult life situations than happy everyday life I guess. We could probably apply them all to your life if we wanted to. Based on your forum posts, you are definitely preoccupied by your ex, there is definitely hostility from both him and potentially the authorities you have reported him to. And preparing for radical change could indeed be a good idea.

But equally you could look at the second one and say am I forcing things? Either by thinking that it is possible to return to your abuser or by chasing justice? Is that causing you pain? I think it is fairly clear in your situation that you yourself are the one who is misunderstood, and accepting that things are as they are is generally a good idea even if we want to work to change it.

Not that I am saying these things are definitely true for you. They are basically just a useful tool for some mental gymnastics. Thinking about how they apply to your situation can help you think in new ways about what is going on. I used them a lot when I got chronically ill and didn’t know how to move forward with my life. The important thing with them is to be flexible in your thinking and take only what is helpful to you from them, remembering they are random phrases chosen by a computer, not your set in stone destiny. I definitely wouldn’t use them if you look at the messages and they cement negative messages in your head: for example, you could look at that second message and go “oh no, I misunderstood my ex”… I mean technically that is true – you thought he was a normal empathetic human, and it turns out he has a void where his soul should be. But if you jump to “I must be wrong, I should go back to him” then I think mystic tools are possibly a bad idea for you?

I am definitely a skeptic, but I think that they can definitely be useful in opening your eyes to other possibilities and making you think new things.

Others may have other experiences. But I definitely wouldn’t be putting my full trust in what anyone else says at your stage. I think it’s important to know that you know your truths yourself, which I think you do, deep down. You just need help to access it. I really hope that if you do consult some kind of psychic, that you will be critical and ask yourself (just like with my daft examples above) whether they apply to you, and whether they are helpful to you, and if the answer to both is not a resounding yes then whatever you have been told should just be dismissed.

[BeautyMarked]

Thanks Tiffany, that’s an interesting way of looking at it. I was looking into seeing if there was a person locally as I’d read about someone who had a really accurate and positive experience. I’m definitely a sceptic too and I suppose it’s right that I shouldn’t necessarily look to something like this when I’m still vulnerable. It’s ridiculous that I am as my tie separated is nearly as long as our time together now. I do think deep down I must know what’s right, but I just can’t escape my belief and trust in him. New things come to me every day. Sometimes it’s stuff that should make me mad at him and other times it’s frustration that perhaps I could have done something. I feel like I’m trying to look into the future but it’s just a great big empty void full of fear and uncertainty.

[KIP.]

I had it done and I would steer clear. You’re still extremely vulnerable. It wouldn’t give you the closure you seek. I think you’d end up grasping at straws. The truth is that this man who abused you now knows youre speaking out. He’s going to be extremely guarded and will probably try to discredit you if he hasn’t already. Try to focus your energy on yourself. Do you have a good counsellor? Have you looked at grief counselling? There’s a lot to process. Try to be in the moment. Have a look at mindfulness. This man is a horrible abuser and given the chance he will carry on abusing you x

[BeautyMarked]

I expect you’re right KIP. I seem to be doing a lot of grasping at straws though. Tbh I think he’s probably forgotten that I exist. It’s been a good few months now and nothing has happened so I reckon he thinks he’s off the hook and I’ve disappeared into the ether. We don’t have any common acquaintances except that nasty woman because he’s determined to keep me a secret which is part of why it hurts so much. I do see a very good counsellor. It’s expensive so I don’t know how long I can continue but they are so very good and knows exactly what I’m dealing with. As messed up as it sounds, he doesn’t even think I’m worth any more of his abuse after my ‘meltdown’. It’s as though I deserve my suffering and enforced separation from him.

[AlwaysSorry]

The suffering and separation is just further abuse from him, he knows you are hurting from your attempts at contact and via the FM. It doesn’t matter what you said or didn’t say or did or didn’t do. He would have just changed the goal posts. None of us are perfect all the time and with the people who truly care and love us, we can have conversations about that – we can’t have conversations with abusers. They count on us not being perfect and will jump at the chance to abuse, to criticise, to put down, to ghost, to wound. Abusers count on the fact that we will look to ourselves to try and please them to avoid their abuse, but there will always be something wrong. It was never your fault and there was nothing you could have done differently to have changed him.

I would be very careful with this route as it opens up for further vicitm blaming and raising false hopes. I remember a kid from school who went missing and no one could find him. His friends and family consulted a psychic who said he was hiding in a basement and the police asked everyone to check their basements. Turns out he had been dead in the ocean all along and that false hope destroyed his family and friends. As such, I steer clear, I also don’t want another person in my life controlling what I should or shouldn’t do. Perhaps my stance on this is harsh but I really am not strong enough to be able to deal with someone who might potentially make me doubt myself now that I have only just started feeling like I know what happened wasn’t my fault. I suppose the opposite could also be true that she might bring out what is deep down in you – the knowledge that nothing you did caused this and you aren’t to blame, but yea I’ve seen it go horribly wrong.

With counsellors I find it is about chemistry. I had one who I got along with really well, very nice, comforting, I never told her a thing about the abuse. Then another who I told a little about the abuse but not in any detail. And another who pushed me too far so I lost all trust and any feeling of being safe. And then I had a one-time meeting with someone for my PTSD assessment and while the words were hard to say, I told her more than I’d told any of the others. Sometimes I think it’s about finding the right balance between being pushed to move forwards and being comfortable. It was all well and good for me to feel comfortable with some of them, but I never told them any of the things I needed help dealing with. So for me, it’s about chemistry and something made me instinctively trust the PTSD assessor that no other counsellor has ever brought out in me. Perhaps it’s time seeing as it is so expensive for you, to evaluate if you have found the right fit? Perhaps you could be referred to GP funded trauma counselling or grief counselling? x

[Anonymous]

i love psychics i have been told some things that nobody could ever know. however a month before i met my ex he asked did i know (my ex name) u worked with one of these names but ut obviously wasnt him. he shook his head confused but didn’t persue it. my friend saw this guy again he asked about me as we had previously had the reading together. he told my friend he is going to need to be there for ne as this Name was going to destroy me and he could see lots of heartache and emotional turmoil for me. but on the other hand my friend hangs on every word they say. this guy travels up and down the country doing reading i will send you his name

[Flowerchild]

I wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole, darling. Remember, Diana’s personal clairvoyant did a reading with her just days before the Paris crash.

She didn’t see it coming. Charlatans.

Flower x

[maddog]

People visit psychics Tec when they’re really really vulnerable and can’t see a way forward. They do the same job as agony aunts but charge more. You need your voice to be heard and you need comfort through this painful time.

A psychic may appear to offer comfort but it’s snake oil comfort and could lead you the wrong way.

[Author]

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