- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.
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15th December 2016 at 2:47 pm #34444AnonymousInactive
Having a low day today. All my life all i wanted was to be loved cared for respected . Not me used and abused by abusers .. yes i was depressed when i met my ex he said all the right things to me .i was vunerable. I still feel if i wasnt vunerable .. and got sucked in by abusers i would be so happy and not suffering like i am today so tired of fighting
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15th December 2016 at 4:08 pm #34449SaharaDParticipant
Abusers find whatever is your vulnerability. Everyone has vulnerabilities. I am the same wanting care, love and respect. The difference is now I demand it as my right. Not as a carrot on a stick.
I no longer look to others for this validation. I have learnt (through support groups and therapy) to do validate myself. I’m not always good at it but I’m much better than I used to be. My abusive husband actually bullied and manipulated me into a relationship with him although I expressly stated that I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I date a few men on a regular basis and none of them try to interfere with my boundaries which is a minimum respect I demand.
I try not to fight with myself..it only brings me down.. Lol! a few weeks ago I told myself off for telling myself of. I felt my inner self talk had been too negative, cruel and mean to myself and the world..so I practiced some extreme self compassion and self care to balance things out.
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16th December 2016 at 1:49 am #34473NovaParticipant
..thanks for sharing, I know what your saying, it touches a nerve with me..I too feel burnt out, sick of battling on.
Drained emotionally & physically. These past few months, after getting out of the fire I have felt totally traumatised and running on empty.
Being forced to deal with trauma like I’ve never felt before, confused, just trying to cope and keep going, don’t know how and it’s totally exhausting.
Unsupported and with such mountains to climb …I feel like running away, I won’t but it’s just SO tough. Your right Sahara I’m going to go go easy on myself, and unlock the soft and gentle side of me, again, for MYSELF!Hugs C x
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16th December 2016 at 6:02 am #34478SerenityParticipant
Hi, I Am Free.
You’ve come so far. You’re more educated and knowledgeable about abuse now, and forearmed.
It’s dreadful what we’ve had to be put on brough, and I think one of the worst parts of it is the abuser’s denial and attempt to make us feel responsible for their bad behaviour.
Doing the Pattern Changing / Freedom course has really helped me in many ways.
I know how you feel, as I have been there, but I feel that I am finally overcoming the experience in certain ways at least. You will too, with time and by continuing to ask for support x
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16th December 2016 at 9:42 am #34486AnonymousInactive
Thanks for kind replys. The most hurtful things he said to me i cant get out my head! I know i will get there . And rip the hurt out of my heart. Yes i feel so stupid as he wanted to know everything about my past . Big big mistake!! I have to work on my past now its gojng to be a long road X
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