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    • #115705
      KIP.
      Participant

      Is like being chained to a sleeping wolf. You just don’t know when it’s going to wake up and bite you.
      I thought I’d start a thread on PTSD and mental health as let’s face it, not many of us escape unscathed. I have PTSD and probably had it for decades since I was first raped. I suffered from anxiety and depression during and after my abusive relationship and still feel the effects daily, but you learn to live with it and manage it. Anxiety and depression are very often how abuse manifests and often is the first opportunity for doctors to recognise abuse. Why isnt that the first thing they think of? I read that one in three women who present with anxiety To their GP are victims of abuse. I think that number is on the low side. To many it’s a taboo subject but it shouldn’t be. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. There would be no shame if we were physically injured. At my worse I had to put parcel tape on the locks to prevent me waking up running up street. Yellow roses made me feel physically sick and fearful. All these triggerS dragging my mind back into a time when I was unsafe and abused. So feeling safe is a huge part of beginning to recover. We need that feeling of safety to begin the recovery process. So if you’re suffering from a mental injury and that’s what it is, not a mental illness, an injury caused by another person and if it helps to share your experience of your mental injury then please do but know you’re not alone, it wasn’t your fault and there definitely is help and a bright future. Depression wants to keep us depressed, anxiety leaves little headroom to think straight (panic is your worst enemy) and PTSD is just the sting in the tail of escaping abuse.

    • #115728
      iliketea
      Participant

      So true @KIP, thanks for posting and bringing this up. I started on my new raised levels of anti-depressants this week because of the nightmares, the anxiety, the not knowing, the palpitations, the smallest thing that makes me jump, the reminders, constant reminders in my head. The going round in circles doing nothing, so busy but getting nothing done, the noise in my head and the holding breath, not breathing, feeling like Im drowning, in silence. Everything you’ve said is true, I’m sorry you’ve had to hold this for so long, it is the fallout of abuse isn’t it. But noone really talks about it, I don’t understand why, it seems so obvious, if you’ve been subjected to constant terror emotional, psychological, physical, its going to have an effect, leave an impression, leave a mark, your brain has been rewired to cope with that trauma, it needs to have those wires ripped out and thrown on the fire and new shiny clean ones put back in, in different places, in positive, hopeful, kind, safe, warm, caring places.
      You do so much for everyone here, always such spot on, kind and thoughtful advice, I hope you have time for you too. Thanks for bringing this up. xx

    • #115732
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey, thanks for sharing, it’s good to know we are not alone and I’ve been where you are and my rewired brain has processed lots more of the abuse now. My sleep patterns are better, the intrusive thoughts have practically gone. It takes time and being very kind to yourself but know that process will get so much better even though sometimes it won’t feel like it. And if medicines are needed in the meantime to get over a hurdle then that’s okay too. The nightmares have disappeared and I’m now waiting On EMDR. Winston Churchill said when you’re going through hell, just keep going! Part of my heralding is helping on here. It turns a negative into a positive and evens up the playing field. How can we beat them if we don’t even know we are in a game? My favourite quote is CS Lewis. You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start now and change the ending 💕. So glad we are changing our endings. Stay safe x

    • #115741
      gettingtired
      Participant

      What are your thoughts on taking meds for anxiety? I’ve never tried before and I know everyone’s experience is different. I’ve always felt put off by potential side effects x

    • #115745
      KIP.
      Participant

      I think if your anxiety is being caused by your abuser then all you’re doing is treating the symptoms and not the cause of your anxiety. I was medicated for decades for a problem that was never mine. If you know this and you think that taking anxiety medication will just give you the strength to deal with the abuse And help you leave then I think it’s worth it short term. But if you’re taking it to mask symptoms, it’s something you can be stuck on for years and years to come. You can become dependent on the medication and getting rid of the cause of your anxiety can take a back seat. Medication along side good counselling might be better. I had anti anxiety drugs that I took at times when I was having an anxiety attack. Diazepam. So you don’t necessarily need to take a course of them unlike antidepressants that you need to take a regular course in my experience. Definitely talk to your GP about if first x

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