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Having a really awful day. How Is this fair? All the years of abuse. I finally leave and stay strong then he plays the victim and leaves the country and goes on a long holiday and met mates in the other side of the world.
I’m left picking up the pieces trying to fix my life whilst he’s suddenly a social media fanatic rubbing his fantastic time away getting everyone’s support. I feel absolutely awful and feel sick. Can’t stop crying.
Makes me so mad that no one knows the truth. I’m left feeling like everything thinking I’m a monster. I have kept my mouth shut I am better than that but honestly it’s so hard! I’m really struggling mentally. How is any of this fair?!
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It’s not fair, certainly right now because he’s controlling the narrative. But remember you’re going to heal, he’s not. He’s going to repeat the same old patterns and has to be seen to be the victim. Lovely, all this sudden social media presence is the internet version of him hanging out a hook to catch the next supply. Take it as a blessing that people believe him as they aren’t your people! I know it hurts right now, I know you want to shout from the rooftops how awful he truly is but focus on yourself. Stop torturing yourself looking at him on socials, it’s all fake. You’re free, he has to live with himself forever and that’s karma 🙂
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Can you block him from your socials? It’s really not worth your sanity to see him living it up as if nothing has happened. Understand this may be harder if he’s in posts made by mutual friends. But if you’re looking at his stuff… try not to! I know it’s hard as it’s only natural to wonder what they’re doing, but it’s really not important.
Try and focus on you. You’re the one that matters. Think about your future, what you want to do, where you want to go. You are so strong; you’ve made a difficult decision and been able to follow it through. You don’t need to justify this to others, and if anyone thinks you’re a monster then they’re not worth bothering with anyway.
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Thankyou for your replies! I’ve blocked him aswell as all his family. Honestly they are all making me sick. The comments are just a right dig. It’s so hard not to wonder. He doesn’t want to see me thrive or get well or do well in life. He’s happiest when I’m down.
It’s so hard not go care about what others think of you. I’m trying to tell myself I know the truth and people close to me do and that’s all that matters. But the Pity party is killing me.
I was feeling strong and my wellbeing was improving but he has set me back now. It makes me so mad me how he can have this effect on me. I’ve had no tears today so far and I’m going to meet an old friend. Hope that cheers me up although will be lots of tears I expect!
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Hi good job On going to a holiday to recharge myself. It must be hard for you since you e tried your best to cheer yourself up but he set you back again. It’s okay, progress isn’t linear, and it’s ok to go back to old patterns sometimes. Just let yourself cry, don’t isolate yourself, and be kind to yourself. Tho it’s hard to not care how others think, you’re the most qualified person to love yourself.
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Hi Bluebirds. I agree that it isn’t fair but ultimately he will repeat his disfunctional and abusive relationship patterns. In time you will move on from this and come out of the other side stronger. The research we all are doing on emotional abusive will make us more aware of red flags. We are more likely to have better future relationships. He might be plastering himself over social media right now and making himself out to be the victim- common for abusers- but long term he will continue his cycle. He won’t be able to maintain a relationship. That’s a pretty dire future he has right there.
Don’t believe the hype on his socials. My ex always painted himself as the victim. Of everything in life! Me, his family, even at work! The truth always comes out in the end!
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How does the truth come out in the end? I can’t see it happening. I’m really struggling at the moment. He’s away living laughing it up and I’m here wallowing. It was my decision to leave but how is any of this fair 🙁
I have done so much research and have so much knowledge now. I just wish I knew it all those years ago. I had inklings like that’s strange but I was so young so I just carried on with it.
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The social media facade is continuing… when will it end? I don’t think it ever will. Living his best life in (detail removed by Moderator) fantastic views etc and looking so happy. There’s me getting on with things under the radar just trying to get myself well and through this hell. My anxiety isn’t the best at the moment. My internal shakes have returned.
One comment I seen was (detail removed by Moderator). What a kick in the teeth! Trying to not let it get to me but it does!
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