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He just pushed/punched me away in the stomach because i was doing something trying be helpful and he was angry. It wasnt like majar forceful or agressive but it didnt feel right and i was really upset by what he done.
He messaged me a bit after because i went upstairs upset saying sorry for pushing you. So he knows its wrong.Is this abusing or do these things just happen to everyone?
I mean he is abusing in other ways but not really pyhiscal. I feel it wasnt that hurtful but it seemed too agressive and it upset me. Am i being too srnsitive?
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I dont think he meant to do it though. It was kind of a push and punch in one go to the stomach to get me away from him because he was angry. It was just a respone i really dont think he meant it to be as bad as it actaully came out to be. He did message me to say sorry and seemed guenily sorry after. Maybe it was a accident kind of… i dunno just a wrong response he didnt mean.
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Not too sensitive. Abuse is how it makes YOU feel. And yes, this does sound abusive. Its not normal to hit someone in the stomach, or even push someone in the stomach, its totally unnecessary. If he was also angry, thats frightening, on top of the physical aspect. If its comes in a package of behaviour, then yes, it is abusive. Often they start the physcial lashing out when they’re feeling particularly challenged or weak and losing power and control. So maybe have a think back to what actually happened to cause it to happen? Were you simply in the way, he fell over and pushed you by accident…in the stomach as he fell..um…I thought not. Or you ran at him really fast and he was scared so he put both hands out, into your stomach and bam, that was it…self defence because you ran at him unprovoked out of the blue….um….thought not.
If you felt upset can you talk to him openly about it?
What did he say?
Was it a true open heartfelt sorry or a Sorry but…type of sorry?
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I dont know i was trying to do something to help him and he punch pushed me away in the stomach. It was his automatic reaction and i dont think he was really thinking much when he done it. He said sorry and that just what i was trying to help with was making him feel bad. So maybe i unknowingly triggered something in him to upset him thats why he done it. I know its no excuse because i was only being nice and trying to help him and somehow it upset him but its my fault.
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Hello Alittlelost
It’s really sad that you’re still trying to say it’s OK, despite replies saying it isn’t.
I can’t imagine ANY situation where punching/pushing someone is OK. Whether you were being annoying or helpful, no difference. Saying it’s an automatic reaction is making excuses for him. Saying he said sorry, so that’s alright then – that’s making excuses for him. Saying he probably only meant to shove you away – more excuses.
It’s up to you what you put up with.
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Alittlelost, don’t ever downplay those things, even if the reality of it is hard for you to face. My ex started off by pushing me and ended up with a conviction for assault.
When he and I lived together, I used to ask myself if a friend had told me her partner had done what my ex had done, would I have thought it acceptable. It helped put it into perspective.
A push/ punch is not ok.
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Im not really sure what to do. There is a donestic abuse worker im in contact with because of the other emotional control stuff going on. I dont know if i should message her and tell her or not. I dont want want to be reported in a risk assssment or go to marac again. I messaged her only few weeks ago saying i felt like his temper was getting worse now this. I worry if i say this to her she will have do a risk report? Does anyone know?
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