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    • #132816
      [email protected]

      Hi just going to rant about how frustrated I am that I’m not living in the family home!

      My ex partners kids live with him full time and my kids live with me and their dad 50/50.

      So when I had my ex arrested for beating me up he was let out on bail (no contact with me) and is living in the ‘joint’ owned home with his kids, because he has nowhere else to go as his family live away and so does the kids’ mum.

      I’m at my parents and my kids with their dad. Luckily my kids dad and I get on great so I go see them etc etc.

      I just find it so unfair that he gets to stay in the house yet I’m the victim.

    • #132831
      Main Moderator

      Hi [email protected],

      Understandably you are left feeling unsupported in this and that the result of your ex having the family home to stay in is unfair. You have a right to explore your options in this.
      Getting good legal advice will be key. A good place to start would probably be with your local domestic abuse service. They should be able to give you some ongoing practical and emotional support with everything and may also have access to legal advice. If they don’t have access to legal advice directly, they should know of solicitors in the area who have a good understanding around the dynamics of domestic abuse.
      You may be eligible to get free and confidential advice from Civil Legal Advice (CLA) as part of Legal Aid if you’re in England or Wales: They can be contacted on 0345 345 4345 or text ‘Legal Aid’ to 80010 for a call back. If you need an evidentiary letter for legal aid, your local domestic abuse service should be able to provide this.
      Additionally, you could contact Rights of Women. They are a voluntary organisation that offer free confidential legal advice over the phone. The Family law advice line offers advice on DV & abuse, divorce and civil partnership dissolution, relationship breakdown, issues relating to children. Their website includes details and opening times for their specialist legal advice helplines and details on eligibility for legal aid in respect of domestic violence.
      Duncan Lewis Solicitors also run a support line and may be able to offer you some help. They can be contacted on 0800 689 3275.
      I hope this is useful.
      All the best,


    • #132847

      When you say he has nowhere else to go, why can’t he rent a place? If it’s a joint mortgage make sure he’s paying your share too as you don’t have access. Has the court decided that he can live there? Have you spoken to a solicitor? Definitely get some advice and think about forcing the sale of the property if he won’t move out. Most solicitors offer free initial advice so ring round and pick their brains. Make sure your name is off all the bills so you’re not liable for any debt he runs up there. Don’t give up. I was nearly in your shoes, I’m sure my ex was ready to move his new gf and family into my home but luckily he was arrested and removed first. Do you know if the position will change with a conviction?

    • #132854
      [email protected]

      Just to update – and sirry for the rant- but been to a solicitor and hopefully getting the ball rolling with what to do with selling etc.

      Hopefully he’ll move back to where he came from after we get a decision from the cps

    • #132858

      Well done. Keep pushing. And please don’t apologise, you’ve nothing to apologise for. This is a great place for a rant. To let it all out. Just make sure the utilities etc know you’re not living there. These men will leave us in debt just because they can so keep a journal of bills and dates etc and make sure your solicitor knows he’s abusive and puts deadlines on all correspondence.

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