Question about jabs

[Balloons]

hi everyone, I have a bit of an odd question for you.. i took my children to get their jabs and i didn’t tell my ex it was happening because I was scared he would just turn up at the doctors and cause a scene. I know he would deny this now and make out like I’m just paranoid and alienating him. I have to tell him they have had them as they will be visiting him this week and I’m petrified of what he will say. Did I do the wrong thing? Did I break the law? Feeling so worried that I’ve done something really stupid and he will use it against me (detail removed by Moderator) to say I’m alienating him.

[Anonymous]

Hi Balloons

You totally did the right thing, as a mother it’s our responsibility to make sure our children are upto dates with jabs and vaccines etc. At the moment it seems like you are the main resident parent so you don’t have to tell your ex everything. Big decisions on what schools etc they’ll go too then this could be seen as alienating him! He cannot use this against you (detail removed by Moderator) and if he tries to then I don’t think (detail removed by Moderator) will be too interested, will come across as t*t for tat, which from your previous posts seems to be what he’s trying to achieve. You’re allowing him contact and that’s the main thing. Seen as he’s the abuser, I would say the chances of him trying to alienate you are much higher. Xx

[Balloons]

Thank you turtledove, that eases my mind somewhat. Ugh I hate how much I still feel under his control, and how much fear and worry he causes without even seeming to do anything. Do you think I should say anything to him about it? He will probably see the marks and put two and two together, i just don’t know if I’m better off saying something before or not or trying to explain why I didn’t tell him. But I know from experience whatever I choose to do it will be the wrong thing x

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say a word Balloons. If he asks then you just casually tell him that the kids have had their jabs. You’re the resident parent so you don’t have to go into detail about everything that happens in a day. It sounds to me like he’s enjoying getting you worked up over matters because he can try and use that against you, he sees his tactics work with you because he knows t ou enough now to know your weak spots. This is still abuse! I’ve learnt that giving no reaction to these kind of ‘men’ is sometimes the best reaction. Xx

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