Quick to bite back

[Happybelle]

It’s been a few months alone now but I’ve starting to notice some new behaviours from me!

more assertive which is great. Politely making my points to strangers as needed but always getting my way.

not so good is me losing it when I feel a huge sense of injustice. The worst recently where I was walking and for the umpteenth time in a row, cars not giving enough space when you’re with animals. So I finally lost it and had a full argument with some guy and booted their car tyre. Was so angry. They had been an idiot but usually I can be more measured in my responses.

anyone else had this and did you return back to being calm and reasonable you or do you just stay angry forever!

my biggest thing is when stuff happens and it’s because the other person hasn’t cared or thought to be considerate. It’s like I don’t matter and I absolutely do and now I’m making a point of it.

anyway- hopefully this goes away soon but thought I’d have a little rant in a safe space!

[minimeerkat]

i lost it not long ago with a delivery driver.  he was hammering on my front window & i had several birds nesting only feet away.  id bitten my lip when he first did it although my blood pressure was sky high, so when he did it again i just went crazy.  poor bloke didnt know what hit him, but turned out he was a bird lover himself.  i actually felt like a lioness with her cubs – protecting them

i think we naturally have a lot of anger inside us & it will find its way out in situations we find ourselves in.  and whilst we are healing we can still be so easily triggered by certain behaviour because of what weve been through x

 

[minimeerkat]

and yes it could very well be disproportionate & inappropriate but could it be that for many of us it wasnt actually safe to express our anger within our relationships.  and if our anger wasnt expressed towards our partners dont they say that it turns inwards against ourselves which can then be a cause of depression x

[Bananaboat]

Omg yes, I absolutely lost it recently when two people crossed infront of my car and then gave me a dirty look. That was a red rag to a bull and pop! It was so out of character but also felt like a massive build up had exploded.

[Indeepindance]

Oooh yes this is what’s been happening to me too last couple of weeks.

I’ve also realised I am angry, noticing gaslighting or at best thoughtless statements by others to me about me, boundary crossers and passive aggressiveness etc. And I’m not standing for any of it anymore.

It’s like a heightened sense for all this BS.

I managed to have a row with my manager and display my annoyance with my roommates for their lack of social awareness or respect last week, which was overwhelming as I worried I was the problem after all, but no, really I think I’ve just had a gut full of selfish and inconsiderate behaviours.

My anger was mostly repressed in my relationship (only his was allowed) so boy is it coming put now…

Xxxxx

[Happybelle]

Omg yes it’s exactly all of this. I am mega sensitive to BS. I feel like I can sniff it out a mile off and have absolutely zero tolerance for it.

trying to pinch my parking space… erm… you absolutely are not. Fobbing me off on a work call…. nope.  All things that I used to gently push back on but would always just drop it I absolutely won’t let go now.
o think I will learn how to harness it in the right way but am glad I’m not the only one.

i was shouted at a lot and had to argue a lot to defend my position verbally which I’d never had to do in any other relationship. I didn’t realise how much that has now sunk in and it’s natural to me now to bite back fast. I sort of like it and sort of hate it!

thanks ladies xx

[Texas]

I think the key is to recognise your anger and find healthy ways to deal with those feelings.  Journal, write a letter to your ex (do not send it), scream into a cushion, punch a pillow, go for a run, talk to a trusted friend etc.

[Happybelle]

I definitely need to find a work around for it. I mean it’s reasonable to have a verbal exchange with someone as needed but I can’t go round kicking at someone’s car because I’m mad with them !!

[Bluebirds]

Maybe just your partners car…. haha just joking or am I?

[Bluebirds]

I’m feeling this… I am so angry right now and very irritable. I was angry whilst still in the relationship. It did die down a bit but the anger has returned and I can feel my blood boiling at the littlest things. I have blew my lid quite a few times and have had some rows.

It definitely is a heightened sense of BS. I’m not accepting any drama or c**p around me. I’m not tolerating it very well. There are a few things going on in my family which I cant stand! I can see me being alone as I honestly can’t put up with it anymore and I’m going to lose it. Certain behaviours really get to me and I’m so easily triggered. Why now?

I also had a go at the mcdonalds worker a few weeks back as she couldn’t change my order. I felt awful afterwards as I was quite rude. It clearly wasn’t her fault. I just had all this rage inside me as I was going through a particularly bad time.

Hoping this anger dies down and I can manage situations better! I do not like being around toxic anymore..  not in the slightest. Nice to know I’m not alone in these feelings.

[Indeepindance]

These were all so relatable to read! Really fascinating. And I’ve also been wondering how to channel the anger (which I embrace) in a constructive or less damaging way. My hypnotherapist reminded me to stay in touch with where the anger is coming from and who it’s really directed at, so that it isn’t some poor unsuspecting soul that receives it. So it’s about keeping your response proportionate to the situation which is hard!!

Anyway she then went on to tell me about ‘Rage Rooms’.  They are set up with everyday (breakable) furnishings & items and you get to smash the place to smithereens. I thought WOW that’s what I need! I shall pretend it’s his lounge and swing for the TV. I’ll let you know if I go and whether it helps!

Xxxxx

[Happybelle]

Absolutely interesting – thanks all for joining in and sharing your experience here.

i almost feel aswell like im now starting to test new boundaries for me like how far i will push back against challenges or make my point with people. I’m still really polite, thankfully a close friend witnessed one of my examples so she gave some honest feedback! I never used to say boo to a goose and she was quite impressed. Said I was never rude just absolutely determined.
learning how to argue for the last (detail removed by Moderator) years has sort of done me a favour, just need to not take it too far.

ive gone through a cycle of sadness of everything ending, to rearranging my life and putting new plans in place and now these plans are progressing this angry phase is the next thing. Anyone know what comes after that!!?

[Author]

Posts