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My ex has been radio silent for the last month. He had yet again blocked me. (We haven’t spoken). It’s mostly because I informed the mediation company I wasn’t going ahead with medation with him due to DA which I told them.
Why am I still terrified of him when I live miles away from him. I’ve having nightmares about him snatching my baby. Gosh does all these things ever stop. I can’t seem to stop being so paranoid. Thinking the worse.
I have been getting some counselling through the DA services through my local area.
I’m so scared I will suddenly have to see him again.
please tell me these things get better with time.
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looks like you are being punished for taking control/saying what you think/having your own thoughts – i have heard that mediation is certainly not recommended when domestic abuse has been involved so you have definitely made the right decision. its very possible that your partner is concerned he cannot manipulate the situation any longer
it will be an incredibly triggering time whilst your having to sort out everything once separated – its well known that any of us for example with c-ptsd can be a nervous wreck when dealing with our ex at this particular time. so it might help just a little bit knowing that this is very normal as you still dont feel ‘safe’
i found that being completely open & honest with anyone i was having to deal with at this stage (solicitors etc) was the best thing i could have done, telling them about any fear & panic i experienced as they were able to help me feel as comfortable as possible when anything to do with my ex was necessary – helping me to feel safer when i was extremely vulnerable
it may be difficult to see this when you are feeling the way you do but yes it will get much easier, especially if you have the right support in place. you will slowly learn how to start regulating your nervous system & eventually feel much stronger – & your confidence in yourself will return x
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Firstly, good job in speaking up. Reaching out to the trusted one and those who help you such as counsellor, can be powerful, since you’ll receive the maximum support and help. I think acceptance is also important, accept that you’re feeling unsafe and vulnerable at the moment, and feelings will past, both positive and negative. Now you’re living alone now, so it may be beneficial to do Sth to make you feel good or distract yourself when things get overwhelmed, try not paying as much attention to those negative ones as the positive ones. You’re attending counselling now, and healing takes time and process, be patient with yourself and the process, also trust yourself that you’ll be fine! Sending you lots of love x
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