Rape – update

[Indiamalachite]

Hey all, I posted few months ago about making a historic rape allegation re my ex-partner. Well I’ve been told they’re dropping the case now as they don’t feel that it would get a conviction even though they told me they 100% believe me and that it happened. I don’t feel the police have made enough effort to corroberate my information and didn’t speak to everyone they could’ve done. I’m really upset – I know this was a possibility but I didn’t realise how upset and low I would feel. 🙁

[Ayanna]

I know how that feels.
I am a shell ever since.
I spoke to Rape Crisis and they told me all the information and support that was withheld from me.
(detail removed by Moderator)
Big hugs.

[KIP.]

Hey, speak to victim support. You have the right to complain about the police or sue your abuser through the civil court where the burden of proof is much less. You can also tell the officer investigating about your concerns that they haven’t spoken to witnesses. Take a few days to think it over. Same thing happened to me. Just remember it’s not your fault.

[Indiamalachite]

@ayanna @kip thank you <3 The system is total rubbish. They just seemed to think it was too hard to bother, like they want a perfect victim with no baggage. I have an ISVA who is lovely and will speak to her on Monday. One of the reasons they gave is that I resumed a long term relationship with him afterwards. Don’t they understand DV&A at all? Thanks for your messages though, it helps. I will think about what to do if anything xx

[KIP.]

The reason they gave you is outrageous and it doesn’t matter. I married my rapist and the police said they tracked down his ex partners and ex wife. It absolutely doesn’t matter that you carried on in a relationship. I was raped hundreds of times throughout my marriage. Even before I married him. Rape is rape. I would contact my local rape crisis centre and make a formal complaint about that officer. (detail removed by Moderator) Who wants to be picked up and dropped again. Made me feel like nothing. Shocking. Take a few days to think about things. Part of me is glad it didn’t go to court as I’ve heard some real horror stories. Rape crisis helpline were good to me.

[Falling Skys]

Hi and hugs

Just want to add my support to you. I have been rape by my ex numerous times. I want to make a statement but without proof I don’t think it would go anywhere.

The police do believe you but it’s do hard to prove. Because of you were anything like me I got the evidence even from myself.

You stood up told your experinces and ssid that was unacceptable.

Good luck with your future.

FS xx

[Indiamalachite]

Thanks @fallingskys and @kip I will call Rape Crisis tomorrow, I feel like they were looking for reasons to drop it even though they said my video interview was really good and detailed. Who will they prosecute if you can’t have any issues. My friend went to Court for a non DV rape and not long ago and they pulled the short skirt and drinking excuses out and the accused was found not guilty. The system stinks. Thanks for the love xx

[KIP.]

That’s awful for your friend but the more women stand up and try to change the system the better X it’s slowly changing as judges are now being held accountable for their decisions. Onwards and upwards…… (detail removed by Moderator) There are many options when and if you and your friend have the strength to explore them. Tackling these issues in my case really helped my recovery. I felt like if I couldn’t get the justice I deserve I would expose the system for the joke it really is.

[Indiamalachite]

Thanks @Kip I was thinking of ways to challenge the outcome for me and for her. She wrote an article about the Court experience and I think it made her feel better but I will tell her about getting the reasons. I want to sit down with this Police officer and ask him why did he not explore all the options? Why if he believes me 100% will he not progress the case as I think I can explain all the things the defence will leap on really well. Sorry you had an awful experience, I agree though, if we can try and challenge the system and hold make the police and courts accountable and more transparent then it will change. It has to 🙁

[Anonymous]

Hi
Victim support are my life line .police let me down too .fight all the way hun . Because iam not stopping my fight X

[Indiamalachite]

Oh thank you <3 I’ll try them too. Just feel so let down like you say. Thinking of how I can fight and challenge too xx Good luck and keep going too!

[Author]

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