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I just wanted to share that after being estranged from my adult child because of the trauma of abuse from his father, we recently met up. I no longer see him through the eyes of PTSD and fear and paranoia. It’s not talked about enough that our own children can trigger our PTSD and how difficult it can be to communicate. So if you’re going through this at the moment, it’s okay to take a step back until you’re mentally ready to engage. We truly need to get our own oxygen mask on before we can help others and it’s taken years. 💕 keep going ladies, your abuser would like nothing better than to see you fail so don’t give them the satisfaction x
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Hi KIP,
It’s so nice to read that you have had contact with your son after all of this time. I really hope that you are able to rebuild a great relationship and that now he’s an adult he can finally see things from his own angle and will give you the respect that you deserve for doing what you had to do.
I always feel so sad for the children who are lied to and poisoned. The truth is, they are only children for a certain percentage of their lives and can only be lied to and controlled for a number of years. As they become older and wiser and independent and search for their own truth, they finally see what has been done to them over the years and will make up their own minds which parent was doing their best to protect them.
Wishing you some lovely times together going forward x
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Thank you so much. Domestic abuse robs us of so much. So much rebuilding to do and the longer we stay the more of us is destroyed. He seems happy. He could do with some mummy love and attention I’m hoping to just be there for him. His father unfortunately still plays a controlling role in his employment so we shall see if there is backlash but it’s out of my control. I won’t be communicating anything to my ex and I hope my son doesn’t either. Onwards and upwards 💕
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What a lovely piece of news to share KIP. I’m really happy for you. They’re never to big for mummy love and affection. 🤗
Kids are a very hard area to navigate when leaving abusers I’ve found. They are torn with loving both parents and if they’ve been shielded in the main from the physical abuse and don’t understand the complexities of emotional abuse or controlling behaviour, then they can blame the abused not the abuser who is lying to them and manipulating them.
But maybe deep down they know. I’m hopeful.
As you say onwards and upwards for you. Well deserved ❤️ X*x
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He definitely blamed me, he was aggressive and quite cruel. He was taken in by his abusive father. Used by his abusive father and still is but he’s older and wiser now. I think he’s realised as you say just who the abuser was and is but he hasn’t been able to break free. But it’s complicated with him, what son wants to believe their father is a rapist. I lived in denial for years so I suppose he will do so too.
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Thanks @KIP. I’m really happy for you, to read this and to learn that it’s ok to take time and do this journey in your own time. 💕 you’re an inspiration.
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This is lovely news @kip my heart did a happy dance for you and for your son.
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