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    • #133008
      Whyohwhy
      Participant

      Lately I have been finding that I really want to find a new man but I don’t get many opportunities being a single Mum. I had a workman coming to my house and I found out he was a single dad. Anyway to cut a long story short, we got chatting and initially he came across as a nice man, but the more he talked the more red flags popped up! So other than him doing the work on the house, I won’t be getting involved there. But the real point of this post is that I have been reading the book “why does he do that” and if I hadn’t have read that I may have seen some of the red flags as something to sympathise about instead of running a mile. So if you haven’t read the book then give it a go, it could save your life or your sanity!

    • #133042
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Whyohwhy

      I just wanted to thank you for sharing this, and for recommending this book, I am sure this will help other survivors.

      You did really well to notice those red flags.

      Best wishes

      Lisa

    • #133043
      KIP.
      Participant

      Knowledge Is Power KIP💕

    • #133919
      stuckwithnoclue
      Participant

      Hiya! Thanks for sharing the book recommendation, could you let me know who the author is please?

      • #133934
        Whyohwhy
        Participant

        Hi stuckwithnoclue, the author is Lundy Bancroft.

    • #133923
      Eyesopening
      Participant

      Well done WhyohWhy 🙂
      I wanted to make a post today about an amazing book I am reading, Boundaries after Pathologically Abuse by Adelyn Birch. The lovely @Isopeace recommended it.
      Its amazing, I feel like it sets me free.
      x*x

    • #133927
      Wakemeup
      Participant

      Why does he do that is Lundy Bancroft she also has a daily wisdom version for ladies that are in the fog and struggle to concentrate

    • #134277
      Still scared
      Participant

      ive learned something very interesting. I can spot red flags myself and especially people taking advantage of my current vulnerability I don’t have words for them well I do but I won’t print them m I’ve realised the series of emails everyone is passive aggressive pretending to care eir.ie available 24/7 and yet not actually do a single thing despite me being very physically ill at the moment the emails are very critical of me me and contradictory i.e. you’re a wonderful person I’m blocking them I’m getting in touch with people who actually care… I feel better for my in myself for realising realising take care of everyone lots of love

    • #134278
      Still scared
      Participant

      Just want to share a couple of practical tips from victim support who I spoke to unspecified unspecified most are are kind of reminding yourself about boundaries so actually just I made quite a pretty pretty framed picture handwritten to myself just saying I’m in control and I choose when to speak to not physically see x x x x x person unnamed also just for me personally to have a note on the door to see who it is is before open door are the other things basically people can find out by talking directly to victim support their bit to specific to their to write them on here take care of everyone lots of love to you all PS SB careful with key in the lock there’s a gadget that removes keys from letter boxes if you’re living on your own and frightened of your abuser who’s not living with you anymore so instead keep key near enough to escape in a fire but not in the door lock

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