- This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Still scared.
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25th October 2021 at 10:40 pm #133008WhyohwhyParticipant
Lately I have been finding that I really want to find a new man but I don’t get many opportunities being a single Mum. I had a workman coming to my house and I found out he was a single dad. Anyway to cut a long story short, we got chatting and initially he came across as a nice man, but the more he talked the more red flags popped up! So other than him doing the work on the house, I won’t be getting involved there. But the real point of this post is that I have been reading the book “why does he do that” and if I hadn’t have read that I may have seen some of the red flags as something to sympathise about instead of running a mile. So if you haven’t read the book then give it a go, it could save your life or your sanity!
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26th October 2021 at 5:57 pm #133042LisaMain Moderator
Hi Whyohwhy
I just wanted to thank you for sharing this, and for recommending this book, I am sure this will help other survivors.
You did really well to notice those red flags.
Best wishes
Lisa
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26th October 2021 at 6:43 pm #133043KIP.Participant
Knowledge Is Power KIP💕
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12th November 2021 at 9:05 am #133919stuckwithnoclueParticipant
Hiya! Thanks for sharing the book recommendation, could you let me know who the author is please?
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12th November 2021 at 9:37 am #133923EyesopeningParticipant
Well done WhyohWhy 🙂
I wanted to make a post today about an amazing book I am reading, Boundaries after Pathologically Abuse by Adelyn Birch. The lovely @Isopeace recommended it.
Its amazing, I feel like it sets me free.
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12th November 2021 at 10:40 am #133927WakemeupParticipant
Why does he do that is Lundy Bancroft she also has a daily wisdom version for ladies that are in the fog and struggle to concentrate
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19th November 2021 at 2:17 pm #134277Still scaredParticipant
ive learned something very interesting. I can spot red flags myself and especially people taking advantage of my current vulnerability I don’t have words for them well I do but I won’t print them m I’ve realised the series of emails everyone is passive aggressive pretending to care eir.ie available 24/7 and yet not actually do a single thing despite me being very physically ill at the moment the emails are very critical of me me and contradictory i.e. you’re a wonderful person I’m blocking them I’m getting in touch with people who actually care… I feel better for my in myself for realising realising take care of everyone lots of love
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19th November 2021 at 2:30 pm #134278Still scaredParticipant
Just want to share a couple of practical tips from victim support who I spoke to unspecified unspecified most are are kind of reminding yourself about boundaries so actually just I made quite a pretty pretty framed picture handwritten to myself just saying I’m in control and I choose when to speak to not physically see x x x x x person unnamed also just for me personally to have a note on the door to see who it is is before open door are the other things basically people can find out by talking directly to victim support their bit to specific to their to write them on here take care of everyone lots of love to you all PS SB careful with key in the lock there’s a gadget that removes keys from letter boxes if you’re living on your own and frightened of your abuser who’s not living with you anymore so instead keep key near enough to escape in a fire but not in the door lock
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