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    • #147742
      Missrainbowstorm
      Participant

      Ive been in an abusive relationship for a lot of years, we have a child together ive finally plucked up the courage and got intouch with WA im going to go in a refuge im just waiting to get my dog in a foster home before we leave my son has autism and adhd im worried how he is going to cope in refuge. Im already feeling guilty for leaving him but i no i need to im constantly living on egg shells and have no life he controls. Im just worried they will also put us too far away my son is due to start his new school soon and has (detail removed by moderator) so its not easy to just move him schools as anyone been in similar situation thanks

    • #147745
      Strongenough
      Participant

      Hi, well done for getting this far with your exit plan. I don’t have refuge experience, but all I can say from my own experience was that when I finally reached a place of safety I just worked out everything from there. It was too much to process whilst I was in flight mode.

      Leaving is such a huge step and it’s natural to have doubts and worries for the future, but let your instincts guide you. I am sorry not to have more practical advice, I just wanted to reach out knowing the stage your at and the emotions that come with it.

      Take Care and Good Luck x

    • #147776
      Missrainbowstorm
      Participant

      Thankyou for your reply im pleased to hear you managed to get out safely and i hope you are much happier with a brighter future ahead of you. And thats so true i carnt sleep with over thinking about things buts its only natural, things will look much more positive when i leave a life free from abuse and freedom x

      • #147777
        Twisted Sister
        Participant

        Hi Missrainbowstorm

        I am sorry you find yourself in this situation, but you seem to already be in the thick of the plans to get out stage, which is a huge positive.

        Just to throw something into the mix, have you already considered that by securing an order against him you won’t have to leave your home at all? That he would have to leave and not return?

        Also, going back to your question of schools. If you are in Refuge it is most likely that you would be assisted in finding alternative schooling because its highly likely for a perpetrator to track a child from school straight back to the Refuge, and therefore put you all at risk.

        As I understand it, you would likely be placed, or recommended to go, into a refuge out of the perpetrator area.

        Every strength to you for this.

        warmest wishes

        ts

    • #147930
      Mummyofboys
      Participant

      The most important thing is that your getting you and your son out of that situation. You so inspiring I’m trying to find the courage that you have. I’m in the same boat and I also have children in school so nervous about dragging them away. Most of the time that’s what keeps me here but it will always be for the best getting them out of a unhappy lifestyle. I’ve been waiting for s close refuge but I know now anywhere but being in this unhappy relationship has to be better. Hope nothing but the best for you and your son x

    • #148129
      Ohshesbloomin22
      Participant

      Hiya hun;

      Well done for getting this far. And I wish you so much luck on getting out with your son.

      I feel I’m at the exact same stage as you. Im just getting the final bits in place before I leave with my children.

      My (detail removed by Moderator) has autism and is awaiting an (detail removed by Moderator). All I keep thinking about is how he is going to cope, but I know I’m the long run we will all be better without the abuser.

      Please let me know how you both get on.

      Stay safe, you’ve got this.

      Xxxx

    • #148243
      Newgirl
      Participant

      Well done lovely that’s a massive step x I’m in the ready in my head but not being able to say it yet x I too don’t know anything about refuges but I do have an autistic child and as long as you are happy they will pick up and be happy too x everything will work out you’ve done so well with how far you have come x

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