Realities of no contact

[iwillbeok]

Husband left the house with not much more than the shirt on his back, and then a small suitcase of clothes and toiletries that a police officer took for him upon his release. He now needs documents showing proof of address to get a new lease. He has asked through email. He asked via our son. I don’t want my son to end up being the messenger when injunction goes through. How does this work in reality when things need to be sorted. Joint accounts, paperwork he needs, he wants to come work on his car as we have the tools… etc etc.

Such a tangled b****y mess…

And of course the children are oblivious to what he’s done and I worry about coming across as the unreasonable one…

[iwillbeok]

I mean appearing unreasonable to the children of course… I couldn’t care less what he thinks.

[mixed-up mum]

Hiya – I just wanted to say hello.

I’m X years down the line – but only on the last (detail removed by Moderator)months managed to go no contact – and I do feel better for it I can tell you.

I thought when I left him that we could still remain on decent speaking terms – but I just doesn’t work …..he still had a control and a hold over me…

The unfortunate thing is we do still have a lot to talk about and sort out – but I just can’t go back to speaking to him…. If I let him back in to may life – no matter how small a way he will still use this to his advantage, so for my own sanity and peace of mind – I have to stay away and not let him back in my life…….

As for how to deal with the no contact thing I don’t know – I too do not want my son to be piggy in the middle – passing on messages from him to me and vice versa…….

And yes in HIS eyes I’m sure I will be unreasonable and childish by not arranging to have a meeting to sort things. I don’t know what version of events he will be telling our son…….anything but the truth…….

Im in the middle of it all too – so I can’t give advice – but I’m sure others might have some good ideas….

Take care.

x*x

[Confused123]

HI HUn

I would encourage no contact. let commuincation be via email if you can handle that, dont worry about looking unreasonable to the kids, not sure of their ages but i would just say i will tell u when u r older but for now let the adults deal with it , all u need to know is that mummy and daddy cant live together cause their is no respect left, i asdvises oem to mention maybe daddy hurt me thats why we can not be together, base it around your scenario. There is a very good reason we are in no contact , as children get older they understand

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