Really confused

[Janedoe123]

I’m back. I think its me. He says it’s me. Observers say it’s me. Both cos I keep replying to messages. I do it to defend myself from awful accusations. With him I want to get away. Away from him I feel utterly alone. I dont know where to start.

[Janedoe123]

I’m trying to get my head straight so I can write something understandable. He’s so lovely but so cruel. Everything is my fault. He shames me. Accuses me of things I haven’t done. Uses strong words that cut to the core. Gives me 2 options but both will be wrong. Says things but denies them after. I want to be able to trust when he says nice things but hell withdraw those things on a whim. I’m terrified of being alone. I feel im at the end of my years and sometimes that’s a good thing. I upset everyone.

[Lisa]

Hi Janedoe123

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You are not to blame for his abusive behaviour, it’s not your fault at all.

If you haven’t already you could think about getting some support from your local domestic abuse service who can talk through your options https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here:
https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Take care and please keep posting

Lisa

[Camel]

Hi Janedoe123

I’m sorry that I missed your posts. It sounds like you’ve been in this situation for a long time so now you can’t imagine any other kind of life. It’s so sad to read that you’d rather be dead than alone. Sad to hear you say he’s ‘lovely’ when nothing you describe is remotely lovely.

I expect you’re still confused. I hope you took Lisa’s advice and reached out for support. This is all you need to do for now. Good luck.

[Author]

Posts