This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #70215
     Starla 
    Participant

    Really struggling at the moment. Left a few months ago and I know it was the right choice but I think this year is going to break me. The abuse hasn’t stopped so I’m having to take steps to cut contact other than pick ups and drop offs for the children. I’ll be in and out of court all year, some things related some things not but all involving him I don’t feel like I can cope. Somehow I have to, but I fear I’ll crash at some point.

  • #70216
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    Starla,

    I know this is really hard but this is the last hurdle. your nearly there. Court can draw out and in the beginning it seems quite daunting. For me everything moving along slow gave me time to process it all, get my head together. Stay focused on what you want for the kids future.This is the end of the road for all of this now. Im not sure what your exact senario is, but if hes abusive and your kids are being affected by this. There is always the option of stopping contact until theyre older. We havent seen or heard from my ex now in two years, he knows better now than to come anywhere near us. stay strong stay focused and lean on womens aid, us and your solicitor. xx diy

  • #70218
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    my ex was a serial stalker and constantly harassed us he wouldnt stop, it was ended by the courts. The childs physical,mental + emotional health has to come first. Its the judges duty of care because there is a welfare checklist. Focus on proving this. The more support and evidence you gain the better xx

  • #70227
     KIP. 
    Participant

    No Starla, this years is not going to break you. It’s going to show you just how powerful and capable you are. I thought I was completely broken and unable to carry on but from deep down you will find the strength. You survived an abusive relationship. That has taught you tenacity, has given you strength and most important has taught you just what your ex is. His tactics and his arrogance which will be his downfall. Absolutely zero contact. Get a third party or a contact centre. Contact is toxic. Let the solicitor deal with him. It might cost more in the short term but it’s worth every penny for your mental health. Get support from women’s aid. Support groups and keep posting. Eat, drink, sleep, meditate, exercise, keep understanding people close. The rest are kept at arms length until you’re stronger. I’m reading about core beliefs. If you believe this year will break you then your mind set and responses and reactions will be to that. If your core belief is that you will become stronger and learn from past experiences then your mind set will respond that way. Positive mental attitude. Keep going x

  • #70229
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Starla, no this year won’t break you, you can do this. Courts are notorious fir being slow in getting the process done, you have to sit and listen to his side of the story and then have yours heard. Listen to what’s he’s saying, writes notes fir your solicitor, gather as many facts as possible to refute what he says. Courts deal in facts, they won’t be taken in by his charm, poor me attitude, but it isn’t easy. Remember your solicitor is working for you, any queries you have ask him don’t just take whatever he says just because he’s a solicitor. If you don’t agree with anything ask fir it to be explained so you do understand, don’t let them fob you off either. You can do this, it will be over sooner now, this is the last part of the journey.
    IWMB 💕💕

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