Refuge

[Ohwell]

I left my ex months ago but there has been ongoing issues with harassment. I am now going to go refuge far away from where I am now with my 2 children. What will happen with child contact as he only has supervised contact with my youngest. And what will it be like living in refuge with my 2 little ones. I know I won’t be able to work which I’m worried about as I have no idea what I will do all day! Ultimately I know it’s better to be far away to ensure that nothing else happens I’m just a bit gutted to have to give up my 3 bed home my job and take my children away from everything they know and just want to make it as positive for them as I can.

[Lisa]

Hi Ohwell

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

When you get to refuge the workers in the refuge should be able to help with getting you some legal advice about what the next steps are regarding contact.

I know going far away from everything is a big step and quite rightly you feel gutted to leave your home, you should only be in refuge around 6 months before being rehoused and many refuges will have childrens workers and can get you in touch with support for yourself.

You sound like a great mum and i am sure they will enjoy having the time with you before you can go back to work again.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Dear Ohwell

It is indeed so sad, and quite wrong, that your safety and that your children comes at such a high cost. I completely agree, but i guess all the time our own society cant effectively protect families from domestic abuse its a price we have to go on paying, becoming refugees.

However, if the home you’ve left is on a housing register,you would be supported onto the house register in your new area.

I believe the third party contact would ‘legally’ have to continue,but again, be guided by the support from refuge on howto proceed, as, if you didn’t continue this contact due to long-distance move to keep you all safe, he would havehave to go to court for contact and you would have refuge support to guide and support you.

Its a huge leap to make but the support and access to services should make a huge difference to your lives despite the upheaval for you al.

It will see an end finally to the abuse, so long as he has no means of tracking you,or the children, on social media or via phones/friends/family.

Sending you every strength and positive vibes for your new start. Do keep posting for support.

Warmest wishes

TS

[Ohwell]

Thanks for the replies. We have left now and staying in a hotel overnight and then getting to refuge tomorrow. It all still feels really surreal, it will be nice to go out and not worry if he’s there or if something will happen. My eldest thinks it’s an adventure but slightly upset about leaving his school. I just hope this all works out and it’s okay once we get there. The IDVA says i will probably feel so relieved once we are there. I’m hoping I do. X

[Twisted Sister]

Dear Ohwell

You are one very brave lady, its a big deal and therefore bound to feel very strange and surreal stepping into the unknown like this.

We are all with you, all here for you and you ar treading the path so well trodden by all the many women and children who’ve gone before you.

You will have support and understanding on hand and sign-posting and help for your new direction.

Thinking of you tonight on your brave new journey you awesome woman and mother.

Warmest wishes

TS

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