Relapsed and so disappointed with myself 😔

[Sugar]

After the last incident I stayed no contact for as long as I could. He sucked me right in again though with promises that he will talk to his probation officer and doctor. Promises that he would do anything and everything to make me feel safe around him again. I didn’t mention that in the last incident my bank cars went missing along with my house phone. I told his mum about this and asked him and he point blankly denied it and made out like I was just trying to make him look bad. I tipped my house upside down looking for them and had to cancel my card. All week I’ve been having to travel miles to my bank to get money out and then yesterday he finally admitted he had taken it and taken money from my account. He then also admitted that he had thrown my house phone over the wall of the building site next door. I was visibly upset and immediately he had a go at me saying that my money was his money ( even tho he contributes nothing) and that what did I expect him to do walk to his mums? He then also told me that as it was new tears eve he then went to night club and stayed out til 6am ( using my money) I feel so disgusted! So he not only hit me because my parents came round, he shouted at my child then stole my bank card and used it to go out clubbing whilst I’m at home battered and bruised! I couldn’t hide my upset but according to him I had no right because I’d asked him to leave. All night was silent treatment and threats to shout so my children would here. I managed to keep the peace for the night but he started again this morning accusing me of not bring in love with him. He had probation today and he asked me to take him. He was shouting at me all the way there to the point I thought I was going to crash. He eventually demanded I pull over so he could get out. I was soooo relieved! I left him there and drove home. Now back to relentless emails of apologies and pleas for forgiveness.

I’m so upset with myself. When will I ever learn. I felt so unsafe again and like he was going to strike at anytime. I’m sitting on my hands not to go to the police as I know that’s the only way he won’t be able yo get to me. But I’m still suffering with dear re children’s services as to what they would say and do. Feel so trapped

[Sugar]

Typing on phone and so many typos. Hope you can all understand what I’ve written

[Daisy]

sugar, please don’t be upset with yourself,
You are not the first, or last , to trust and hope that perhaps things will be different, that perhaps they could really realise and change.
We’ve probably all tried much longer than they ever deserve.
I’ve been on the forum for quite some time now and can only recall one or two ladies that have managed to See real changes happen with their partners,
you’ve made the big change before and you can do it again, that bit more wiser too, regarding his plots and plans to ensnare you again.
Treat this as a rehearsal, for the main event when you are ready to try again,
I understand your reluctance to report him to the police but remember you are not the one in the wrong here, he is , and your fear is working in his favour and against you.
Please stay safe, if your instinct are telling you he is gearing up to further confrontation, I have to agree as our instinct are often right x x x

[one day at a time]

You’ve done nothing wrong! He has. And he knows it which is why he transfers all his anger to you.
It’s a horrible way to come to the realisation he’s not going to change. But now you know for sure that he is just as abusive as ever (whether he has a probation officer or seeing the doctor or not).
I think you feel it’s going to get worse, so trust your instinct and have a plan in place.
Take care. Xx

[NewWings]

They seem to be brilliant at projection, it’s never their there fault ever. Mine made loads of money but was the most miserable man I have ever met. My his money was his and so was mine. He never carried cash and paid for nothing. Every well nearly every holiday he conviently misplaced or lost his wallet. What if you did what he does he’d leave you immediately I’ll bet. They’re all bullies one and all one way or another. Don’t give yourself a hard time. I took seven long hard years to get away from him and he’s tried every trick in the book. Even told me “you know I loved you!” I looked at him like he’s two heads and said nothing. Not even worth the breath. You take care he’s in the wrong totally. You know you are worth so much more. Thinking of you.

[Author]

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