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    • #128174
      Emptybutfree
      Participant

      Hi all,

      I’ve done it!
      I faced my fears, I never thought I’d do it but he is (detail removed by Moderator), as far away from me as possible and he can’t get to me any more.

      I’ve had a mixture of emotions, sadness, anger, anxiety and absolute relief.

      Although he still tried to minimise his terrible behaviour, it couldn’t of gone any better. (detail removed by Moderator)

      I feel so proud of myself, I know there is a long and rocky road ahead of me but this is definitely what I needed.

      I’m not mental, I’m not unhinged, I’m not ‘too sensitive’ or a drama queen.
      I was believed, I was strong (it definitely didn’t feel that way but we’re much stronger than we think)
      I’m a survivor, we all are! X*x

    • #128175
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Well done! That’s really good news. So glad you found the strength (detail removed by Moderator).

    • #128182
      KIP.
      Participant

      Fantastic news and I’m glad you used that inner strength. Recovery is a rollercoaster so lots of emotions but now you know you’re strong enough to get through anything. Well done for holding him accountable and no doubt saving more women from his abuse. Power to you x onwards and upwards x

    • #128184
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Amazing well done you brave strong lady sending you hugs x

    • #128187
      ISOPeace
      Participant

      Amazing, well done! I love your beautiful use of words. I also love how you described that you were strong even though you didn’t feel strong. That’s my experience too. I was always waiting to feel strong but now I know that not feeling strong doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough. X*x

    • #128191
      ladiesand gentlemen
      Participant

      Well done, such a brave lady, its NEVER been your fault
      So happy for you, and you WILL be free in your mind with time too
      Take care xx

    • #128206
      Emptybutfree
      Participant

      Thank you so much, today is the first day in a very long time I woke up without huge knots in my tummy. I didn’t necessarily feel happy but I felt better and surly that’s an improvement.

      I’m trying to be honest with myself in order to heal properly.

      I know a lot of ladies on here want to be away from their abuser, and so did I.
      Something I’m struggling to come to terms with is the love that I have for him.
      He may not of loved me, but I loved him and that is more than ok, it is ok to love, I’m coming to terms with that being a positive reflection of me and not of him.
      I miss him, for all the good times we had, whether they be part of the abuse or not and I’m accepting that is also ok.

      I didn’t want things to be this way – none of us ladies wanted this, we wanted love, respect, care, compromise, all of the things a healthy relationship consists of.

      I know if I love myself the same way I loved and still love him, I will be more than fine, it’s finding the strength within to know that you don’t need to accept being hurt a more – physically, emotionally etc.

      Some days the world feels so heavy, I wish none of us were going through any of this hurt or confusion but the comfort in knowing were not alone. We have each other.

      Thank you for your lovely comments, I’m still struggling, a lot but that is ok too.

      I hope everyone who reads this knows how worthy they are, how respected they are, especially by the ladies on here.

      Sending lots of love and big hugs to anyone that needs it right now xx

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