This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  just breathing 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #85287
     Tobfree 
    Participant

    it’s sane cycle but getting worse
    Every time i dont do something he really wants me to do he uses this as excuse that i deserve to be treated badly cos i upset him etc

    He is so full of sxxt
    Hes vindictive malicious and down right nasty
    Punishments guilt trips blame gas lighting its all trauma bonding brain washing too

    Like the happiness i feel from him being in good mood as i doing what he wants
    Then the hell on earth for
    Not doing as he wants
    Complete cycle round n round except the times he happy is becoming less n less
    And the blame guilt trips punishments and with holding and gas lighting coercion’s are becoming worse and more frequent
    Why is is becoming worse and more frequent

    Is it because its becoming more severe its escalating
    Or is it because i am trying to take back control
    Bit by bit day by day

  • #85320
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Tobfree

    Abuse often escalates when abusers sense you trying to pull away from them or being slightly more independent than usual. I know it is so hard but working towards cutting all contact with him is the only way it will stop. Keep using all the support you have around you and you will get there in your own time.

    Take care and keep posting

    Lisa

  • #85343
     Donkey 
    Participant

    To be free. I am experiencing the same. Lisa is right. It’s hard for us to see it in the fog. But you need to take control back but safely and with support around you. I have a baby with my abuser. I don’t know how far it will escalate when I’m gone but I have to do it for my sanity and my child just in case he does it to them.

  • #85470
     just breathing 
    Participant

    It is likely to be that they do not want to relinquish any control they had. Its very hard to see things objectively whilst it is going on and you are affected by what has been happening. I think writing it down and asking a friend or group such as this to see it and say as it is.
    In summary if happiness is being sapped out, or well being, self worth are diminishing then being away will at least make it stop. one can be strong then half when with someone whose actions can lead to negative feelings.
    Good luck and review the whole picture, once you have decided take small steps to get there so you are in balance along the way.

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