8th August 2019 at 2:56 am #85287TobfreeParticipant
it’s sane cycle but getting worse
Every time i dont do something he really wants me to do he uses this as excuse that i deserve to be treated badly cos i upset him etc
He is so full of sxxt
Hes vindictive malicious and down right nasty
Punishments guilt trips blame gas lighting its all trauma bonding brain washing too
Like the happiness i feel from him being in good mood as i doing what he wants
Then the hell on earth for
Not doing as he wants
Complete cycle round n round except the times he happy is becoming less n less
And the blame guilt trips punishments and with holding and gas lighting coercion’s are becoming worse and more frequent
Why is is becoming worse and more frequent
Is it because its becoming more severe its escalating
Or is it because i am trying to take back control
Bit by bit day by day
8th August 2019 at 6:08 pm #85320LisaMain Moderator
Abuse often escalates when abusers sense you trying to pull away from them or being slightly more independent than usual. I know it is so hard but working towards cutting all contact with him is the only way it will stop. Keep using all the support you have around you and you will get there in your own time.
Take care and keep posting
8th August 2019 at 7:47 pm #85343DonkeyParticipant
To be free. I am experiencing the same. Lisa is right. It’s hard for us to see it in the fog. But you need to take control back but safely and with support around you. I have a baby with my abuser. I don’t know how far it will escalate when I’m gone but I have to do it for my sanity and my child just in case he does it to them.
10th August 2019 at 9:56 pm #85470just breathingParticipant
It is likely to be that they do not want to relinquish any control they had. Its very hard to see things objectively whilst it is going on and you are affected by what has been happening. I think writing it down and asking a friend or group such as this to see it and say as it is.
In summary if happiness is being sapped out, or well being, self worth are diminishing then being away will at least make it stop. one can be strong then half when with someone whose actions can lead to negative feelings.
Good luck and review the whole picture, once you have decided take small steps to get there so you are in balance along the way.
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