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    • #106796
      dancing in the rain
      Participant

      Does anyone else find that when they are ill they get the feelingcthey are being a burden. Everything he hasvto do for you has such an impact on his life. Lots of puffing and sighing. Lots ofvtalk about how difficult it is for him…. Your made to feel you should be making more effort and you’re “milking” it to be annoying. I often think its related to him not feeling the centre of attention. I’m focussing on myselfvtoo much rather than him and how he feels.

    • #106801
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      It was the opposite for me. He liked when I was ill and ‘out’ and was most caring. It was when I was up and healthy and happy he found it necessary to take me down.
      It is indeed all about him and how his needs are met first. When I was ill I was grateful for his attention and he was feeling good to be in charge of it all. It wasn’t about making me better, it was about having more control over me because I was more vulnerable.

    • #106864
      iliketea
      Participant

      Yes, yes, yes, definitely A BIG YES to this one! Pregnancy too. Morning sickness that I had all day every day the whole way through. All the pain at the end. The sleepless nights. Apparently I was making the whole thing up!

    • #106868
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Blech, vomit, wiping my mouth……..yes…..What do we mean that life isn’t all about them????? Are you mad? Selfish? You expect um-wa here to cater to you when you are sick???? LOL! Typical. yawn snore. Well I don’t know here but I think that spells – inequitable. Not good for me, not good for our partnership, don’t like it, bite me! Think again next time you want something from me! And just so we’re clear here, would you please produce the slave contract that you forged when we married or got together here because I’d like to see that in all it’s glory and fine print. Especially my signature at the bottom. Please do produce it, I am tapping my feet waiting………..

    • #106888
      Tickleribber
      Participant

      I put a lot of effort into staying well, as anytime I’m ill I’m faking it to get attention apparently – like an inconsiderate employer who only believed it if you got a doctors certificate – or if I clearly wasn’t as I had a fever and couldn’t do much at all except lie in bed, I’d be left there to rot.
      And If, God forbid, I was a bit restless In bed due to aches and pains, I’d get yelled at for disturbing his sleep.
      Once he did go to the corner shop to get me a bottle of Coca Cola, but he got the sugary kind which he knows I never touch instead of the diet one, on purpose I think.
      There’s actually some talk he needs some surgery soon, hope he’s not expecting me to wait on him at home after that.

    • #106898
      iliketea
      Participant

      Oh yes totally different story when they’re ill isn’t it? The world stops turning.

    • #106901
      Wiseafter
      Participant

      Hi all, one of the reasons I finally drew the line was how little he looked after me when I was sick early in lockdown, then how he turned it on me when I challenged him about it. He lied and said he had cooked a meal and left it in the oven for me (he hadn’t) and that I had eaten it (I hadn’t). Years ago, when I was ill and we had, not only my kids but his as well at home, I went up to bed and asked if he could rustle up a meal for us. And could he bring me a glass of water please. He went instantly ballistic – why couldn’t I cook? I wasn’t that ill! Then he brought me tray full of glasses of water (about (detail removed by Moderator)) filled to the brim. He slopped them down on the table next to the bed and said in a horrible sarcastic voice (detail removed by Moderator) then he went out until (detail removed by Moderator)! AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH. Makes me so mad, so messed up! Who behaves like that to someone they are supposed to love? I want to shake myself looking back for putting up with this madness. Anyway, moving on………

    • #108689
      dancing in the rain
      Participant

      Thanks all. Glad its not just me (or rather him) if you know what I mean x

      Couldn’t decide if it was me unnecessarily feeling a burden or whether he was making me feel that way….you know what they’re like.

    • #108704
      Eggshells
      Participant

      If ever I was ill, he would instantly become more ill than I was so I’d have to get up and look after him and the kids. I ended up with a really nasty secondary lung infection thanks to this! Ended up with a lifetime of breathing difficulties.

    • #108738
      dancing in the rain
      Participant

      Oh Eggshells…. It’s always worse for them 😦

    • #109066
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Eggshells – it’s crazy isn’t it. That one gets me the most because it’s so bonkers that it makes no sense in the real world. People think it’s not true or your fault.

      My ex stood over me screaming I was lying as I was lazy. I couldn’t move – was diagnosed with RA later on, at the time I was so frightened while I lay there and he screamed.

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