Rushed into something

[Anonymous]

I left my abusive partner a few months ago and began speaking with a guy i had went out with when we were younger. He said he was single. We began texting each other all day every day from morning till night then i started to meet up with him. He was the typr of person i know i should not have had anything to do with but he made me feel amazing and i now realise that he filled this empty void i had since leaving a long term relationship. It wasnt just sex either, we got very close, too close too quick, he knew what my last partner had been like and he was very supportive. I moved into my new house and he came to stay over, left the next say quite happy then phoned me the next moening to say he was ending things because he had a girlfriend who he had been with for (Detail removed by Moderator) years. Heartbroken isnt the word. Not a single thing he had told me was the truth. He hadnt been living where he said he had, he had been with her. Shes a bit older than him and buys his clothes and drives him around. He had actually been spending her money on taking me out and getting her to give him lifts to meet me. I messaged her to let her know and according to him he had obly been with me for ‘something to do’. I have never in my life came across anyone who has lied about every single detail of their life like that. So basically im in a state, ive went from having constant contact with someone who told me daily how much they liked me to zilch. Nothing. Hes actually blocked me from everything aswell. I cant go on feeling like this.

[KIP.]

I totally feel your pain. My ex cheated on me. I was with him for decades and I never knew him at all. His behaviour is no reflection on you. He chose to behave that way. To be deceitful and dishonest. The type of person you don’t want to be around and you sensed a red flag early on. No experience is wasted if we learn from it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember you’re worth a thousand of him. Glad you found out. I pity his girlfriend. You won’t be the first and won’t be the last x

[Anonymous]

I just cant seem to snap out of this depression, i totally relied on seeing this new guy, he was a distraction from my abusive ex. I actually got a bit obsessed, my mood for the day depended on how quickly he was texting me back or if i was going to see him that day or not. He stood me up loads of times and i bought his excuses everytime, they were really ellaborate well detailed lies and i totally believed every word he said. I physically hurt, im so upset i cant stop being sick. I spoke to his girlfriend amd we swapped stories of his lies and im in complete shock. Silly things aswell like telling me he really wanted a dog…but she says they have a dog together. Or telling me he was at meetings with housing to get somewhere to live, but he has a house with her.

[maddog]

Out of the frying pan into the fire. How horrible for you. His behaviour is nothing to do with you. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. Well done for recognising the warning signs. I hope the contact with the girlfriend is positive and hopefully he will soon be an ex boyfriend and you have a friend. These men have had years of practice in abuse. It is what they are. Please take as much time as you need to heal over the loss of your previous relationship. It may be early days and you may still be very vulnerable.

[Author]

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