Sad at not being able to celebrate

[Sad and alone]

At what should be a special occasion I am feeling sad. Other couples would be celebrating and we don’t even acknowledge it. Sad thing is even if he did it wouldn’t mean anything anymore. Because everything is wrong. If I said about him not saying anything he would turn it on me and say I could’ve said or done something but I just don’t see the point. Not when I’m told if he could go back in time he wouldn’t be with me.

In a parallel universe I’m sat on a beach somewhere hot, drinking cocktails, reading books, being with someone who loves me for who I am and would never want me to change, and I feel lucky to have spent so much of my life with them and am looking forward to the future.

[Lisa]

Hello Sad and alone,

I’m so sorry to hear how you are feeling. It must be really hurtful to hear that statement of regret from him, I imagine this is a feeling you also share.

I can hear that you are feeling a sense of loss and isolation around this, it must be draining.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to instead celebrate the resilience, strength and determination it has taken you to get through this and to still be here, reaching out for connection and support. Perhaps it’s a chance to celebrate you. Things won’t always be this way.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Sad and alone]

Thanks Lisa.

I try and remind myself that I am a strong person to still be here and for dealing with the way things are but then I also feel like a weak person for still being here too.

It is hurtful hearing someone say that. As you say I obviously feel the same. He’s not who he was at the beginning and the first few years. I don’t know why it all changed. It’s definitely become a thousand times worse since we moved away. We weren’t getting on before but he was working so hard and this was meant to be a chance to work together and become closer. We always worked well do things together as no one to help us but now he says everything is him as if I just sat down doing nothing my whole life. It makes me feel like my life has been a waste. I have a lot of regrets about things I wish were different, big and small.

[Stargazing1]

My Heart goes out to you   now and always. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Author]

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