Same old story

[Hetty]

Anyone else get the whole sob story…
I need to take a look at myself, only ever wanted a wife to love, cold and awkward, everything he does is for me. I’ve completely given up. Last weekend I spent ages cleaning and was called names implying I’m messy and dirty. So I’m letting the dust gather and doing only what I need to for me and my child 😔

[Cecile]

what a good move Hetty. Don’t let him wear you down. I am in the thick of the “but I just…” stuff from him now and it stinks. You are doing the right think by recalling the reality, the bad stuff he said and did to you. Hang on in there freedom beckons even if it’s slow in coming….

[Anonymous]

My ex tells anyone who’ll listen that I was the abusive one, I assaulted him and got convicted and he has a restraining order against me. Even though it is the other way around. You will never please these men, so there is no point in trying. Escape is the only answer.

[Aida]

They have no conscience whatsoever, ‘I won’t try’ and ‘I am getting what I wanted’ – oh please, really?! Keep the end goal in side – the tunnel is long, dark and lonely sometimes but remember how you will feel when you step into the light. That is what keeps me going x

[diymum@1]

And you will xx ❤️

[Hetty]

It feels like I’m never going to get there. ❤️

[Coolbreeze]

I am new to all this and thought it was just me thinking he’s manipulating and turning everything against me while saying he’s trying to help me. At first I really did try to ‘look at myself’ and ‘improve’ my faults but realised nothing I did would ever be enough because that’s exactly how he wants me to think of myself, defective and unworthy. How could I have been so utterly blind?!
Thank you for showing me it’s not my fault.

[Hetty]

The so called ‘faults’ in my house might be daring to have a different opinion or even an opinion at all, watching tv, working late and being tired, wanting an early night to read a book, being poorly, leaving the toilet roll hanging too far. And when all else fails he makes things up! It’s laughable if it wasn’t such utter torture x

[Cecile]

Hetty sounds similar to mine. No one is /was allowed to express emotion either. Or waste food or have hot tap water. On and on. I was away recently, on my own and joyously asked my pets how they were feeling every day and told them how `I felt. Then I threw food in the bin that he would never have allowed.God that was a good feeling.

[Brave]

Oh Hetty, this sounds so much like what I used to hear, it’s quite spooky! Seems they read the same manual. So sorry you are still going through this. Glad to hear you are making small steps towards getting out, and conserving your strength for that instead of engaging in pointless arguments.

Keep strong, you will get there.
Take care.
Xx

[Anonymous]

Yes Hetty, I’ve had a variant of the everything I do is for you story. Now that we’re getting divorced he feels able to speak out about how he’s been walking on eggshells for most of our marriage (which is not a short one) as he felt I was constantly belittling him. He felt he had to stay in the marriage to support me financially while I was at university. Yet when I had completed this course, did he file for divorce to escape all my alleged abusive behaviour towards him? No, of course not! Instead he bleated on about how he still wanted things to work out between us.

[KIP.]

Cirrocumulus, do not believe a word he says. They talk utter nonsense that doesn’t even make sense. They rewrite history. Delusional nonsense and not worth wasting time and energy over. When you actually break down what they’re saying it’s often exactly what they did to us. It’s unbelievable really but you can learn a lot from what they say as it’s often a confession. If they accuse you of something, you can bet they’ve been doing it.

[Author]

Posts