This topic contains 9 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  IWillBeHappy 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #87043
     IWillBeHappy 
    Participant

    Currently sat waiting for the police as today I reported my bf for saying (detail removed by moderator) if I leave him. Today is scary. I’m worried I’m going to have to leave my life. there is a long history of abuse and I just want my children to be safe and to get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach. Anyone been through similar? I know he’s not technically breaking a law by saying what he has so I’m also worried the police aren’t going to be much help and I’ll just be left with the option to run.

  • #87050
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Tell the police everything that’s been going on. (detail removed by moderator) should be taken extremely seriously. It’s a very dangerous time for you and your children. Ask for a police marker on your home and phone so that if you ring them, you’re treated as a priority. Get help from your local women’s aid too. You could also consider a non molestation order which means he can be arrested if he breaks it.

  • #87058
     Flowerchild 
    Participant

    He has most certainly broken a law by (detail removed by moderator), darling!

    And your reporting will help keep that baby safe. Well done. Take courage.

    Flower x

  • #87069
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Well done my friend for having the courage to do what you did. These men are bullies and cowards and you are tramping back control of your life now. Please have the courage to tell the police everything, we’ll guide you every step of the way. We might not be there in person but knowing we are here at the end of a text is such a comfort. Good luck sweetheart, see you on the other side.
    IWMB 💞💞

  • #87075
     Copperflame 
    Participant

    (detail removed by moderator) is breaking the law and in the context of an abusive relationship, should be taken extremely seriously as leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time. Also his behaviour is very coercive and controlling which is also breaking the law.

    The police have a duty to protect both you and your children and to keep you all safe, especially the children. As the others have advised, please tell the police everything. The abuse is not your fault, but is entirely the responsibility of the abuser. You don’t deserve to be treated like this or to have him make you sick with anxiety.

    If you want to leave, a refuge could be the answer for you and your children. You’ll get support and they’ll help to rehouse you. I left my ex to come to a refuge many miles away, and it was the very best thing I ever did.

    Lots of love, Copperflame xx

  • #87088
     IWillBeHappy 
    Participant

    Thank you everyone. Last night was along night I was up until 2am making a statement. (detail removed by moderator) I am wondering what to say to my other (detail removed by moderator) children. They typically had a nice day with him yesterday and will be sad about not seeing him.

    It’s so nice to wake up feeling a bit more free. I’m beginning to think I didn’t realise how much of a dark cloud over me he was. I think I always tried to minimise things when the kids were here to “be strong”.

  • #87089
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Well done and try to take it easy today. I wouldn’t say anything to your children yet, doing nothing is an option until you’re thoughts are clearer. Depending on the evidence and what he says in the interview, they may not have enough evidence to charge him. If they do then make sure you have adequate bail conditions. If not you might need a civil non molestation order. I’m assuming it’s his child too so he will still have parental rights so you need to speak to a solicitor, most offer free initial consultations. Best help is your local women’s aid. And Rights of Women offer a free legal advice helpline. The helpline number on here is great too. Enjoy the peace and quiet and if he turns up anywhere near you or your children ring 999. Keep posting for support x

  • #87095
     Fudgecake 
    Participant

    You made the right decision to report this even though it must have been hard to do. The safety of you and your children is the priority here as we all know that these threats can turn into action very quickly. Keep safe and don’t let him back in.

  • #87113
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    ask them to get a restraining order- so that he cant come near you or contact you. im not sure how long they keep these men these days (detail removed by moderator) – block his number and resist any contact – straight on the phone to the police if he comes near xxxx

  • #87139
     IWillBeHappy 
    Participant

    (detail removed by moderator) I’ll be honest I’m not feeling hopeful and feel like I’m just going to end up being vulnerable again.

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