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    • #112303
      Lavinia
      Participant

      Hello everyone.

      I hope you are all ok.

      My partner left in (detail removed by moderator) after a violent incident. He left temporarily but after many, many years of severe control and abuse I managed to get (detail removed by moderator) an occupancy order and non molestation order. He has since been arrested for (detail removed by moderator). They’ve lifted his bail however and he under investigation. I felt liberated at first but the depression is getting worse facing homelessness and destitution when my order ends and with constant pressure via his solicitors. I have a womens aid keyworker and an ISVA but with Covid it has been so hard and very, very lonely. I wouldn’t let the police in (detail removed by moderator) as they would only send a single male officer. I still haven’t seen a female officer at all. I’m terrified CPS will drop it and all this has been for nothing. My son adult son who lives with me is and displaying all the signs of taking my ex partner’s place in his attitude towards me. I have pets and I can’t lose them – I’m more terrified of that than anything. I’m totally trapped financially as he has controlled absolutely everything and everything is in his name. He breached the non mol but the police just say all they will do is record that. I’ve had to go back to work as he is (detail removed by moderator)  (not paying me though) and I can’t access any help. I’m waiting for major surgery and very unwell and it’s all too much. I’m absolutely convinced had I not got the orders he would have killed me although he only put me in hospital (detail removed by moderator) before. He will be thinking of how to kill me if he is charged I am certain of it. Sorry to be so negative in my first post. I think of other women like me all the time and hope by seeing it through court I will help others. If they drop it I will go public as it will not be right. I’m very shocked at how hard it is with the authorities to be taken seriously. Everyone says I have orders to protect me but they are just pieces of paper.

       

    • #112313
      Escapee
      Participant

      Hi Lavinia,

      Welcome to this wonderful space 🙂

      It sounds like you’ve been through hell and still finding you way through the maze.

      We’re here for you.

      I was recently looking at fostering animals and I noticed that some charities have fostering for pets of DA survivors whilst they find accommodation for themselves and their furry friends.

    • #112321
      Lavinia
      Participant

      Thank you. That’s very useful. Still so very shocked I can’t even speak to Womens Aid or my ISVA without the defence as well as the prosecution being able to use their notes. There is nowhere to turn for confidentiality. I’m going through being (detail removed by moderator) and it is horrible thinking about things my friends have shared with me in confidence being read by others. I’m dreading the trial. There have been some terrible things forced on victims in the court here recently including this week where screens were denied – get this – because of Covid!

       

       

    • #112335
      Lavinia
      Participant

      Everywhere we go we are scrutinised. There seems to be nowhere we can speak unrestricted.

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