This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #72176
     EbonyRaven 
    Participant

    He’ll get the letter with my statement in soon. In the next day or so. He’s in a ‘nice’ phase at the moment. I have a feeling his latest supply has told him to so I go back to buying food he can eat, and continue to let him stay here etc.
    I have no idea how exactly he’ll react. It’s not going to be fun though, for certain. Then there’s a hiatus of a week at least before the next actions happen.
    I can’t concentrate on anything worrying about it. Wish I could hide under that grey rock for a week. He may have this letter by the time I get home from work today.
    Don’t know what I’m trying to say really, just venting I think. Thanks for being here and lending your ears. It really helps.

  • #72179
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi ebonyraven, I know that when the solicitor said i could get an interim exclusion order that they’d let me know in advance when it was due to be served, in order for me to go and stay elsewhere. I panicked though at even the thought of that and said I wasnt ready to do it. Have you informed the police of what’s happening, about to happen. They could put an alert on your number I would presume. The very best wishes to you over the coming days. have you got voice recorder on your phone, I’ve put it on my home page so its quickly activated, though we don’t think quickly enough to do that at times. Well be thinking of you and sending positivity to you.

    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72181
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    youve probably gone into tail spin with this so would i, so he is still living with you? god there must be better ways that the authorities can help to deal with this especially when your feeling scared, can you get an exclusion order? if he starts up id get straight on the phone to the police no hesitation. what he is putting you through is awful. I dont think you should be expected to live with all of this emotional baggage. its just a worry that your mental health will suffer even more. I had this for a while at the time of initially splitting, i ended up locking him out, i changed the locks. The wrath was horrendous i wish i hadnt let it go on so long, he broke my door in and then i got the police. As above id give the police the heads up about whats about the letter and explain that your scared. i think then they will act immediately if he kicks off, he has no right to do this, his actions have brought this, not yours xx stay safe and think of yourself xx luv diy mum xx

  • #72199
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I think from your previous post it’s your home. Can you ring the police, show them the statement and have him removed? Tell them you fear for your safety and need assistance. This is a real trigger for these men. I think he will try to sweet talk you then get aggressive when you won’t back down. You are right to be scared. Are you receiving help from women’s aid?

  • #72218
     EbonyRaven 
    Participant

    Hi, thank you for your kind words. Yes he lives here. I hadn’t thought to let the police know but I’ll get on to that straight away. The letter he’ll be getting is about getting him removed. I’ll investigate my phone for a recorder. I went to the domestic abuse help agency in my local town. They invited me to see a solicitor there. They haven’t offered any other support. I guess they have a lot to do, and much more serious cases to deal with. I’m not very good at asking for help, so as I’ve spoken to them already i sort of feel it would be a nuisance to ask for more from them. No letter today, unless he’s pretending not to have had it. I’m just on pins waiting for it. I’ll try ringing the national line again maybe, but write down beforehand my message to leave. He’s likely to go down the guilt making, mental health issues, depression route as opposed to sweet talk. I’ve seen it so many times before and it’s very effective. Even though I’m absolutely not going to back down, it’s still going to be awful. Just got to keep telling myself that it should be over that mountain soon, and onto far less steep terrain.

  • #72237
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    Yeh this is the road now to freedom. the guilt trip is hard to avoid getting sucked into especially if there are tears. try to remember what hes put you through and be sure his emotions are fake, theyre surfacing for his own gain. Stay strong and always ask for what you need, your entitled to ask to be kept safe, that comes first before anything. just think soon you will be physically free from him! you can concentrate on you now and your own happyness 🙂 youll be fine your doing great, make sure you give the police the heads up, if they want to act let them, youve made your decision anyway and its the best decision about your life youll ever make. you will never look back and say god i wish id stayed with him longer, it will be to the contrary youll be saying why did i waste so much of my time on this guy?i regret not getting out sooner xx luv diy xx

  • #72239
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi ebonyraven, I’ve been to my local WA organisation 2x and spoke inn the police a few times to them also. I’m like you in that I feel others are more deserving of their time, safe house. They’ve given me the same advice as yourself, solicitor to speak to, its just they can’t do anything else I suppose unless we say to them, I’m ready to leave, can you help me. I’m slightly different in that u don’t want to stay in this house after. Too many sad, scary times and it’s too big fir me. I wish you every Strength of being to get through this week, definately let the police know what’s going on and also find out fron solicitor when that letter is being sent out. Not knowing is agony.
    Love and best wishes
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72240
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Spoke on the phone not inn the police

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