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Looking for advice as I’m scared he will use children to hurt me.
The children live with me and my ex is having my youngest he is taking them the weekend overnight. He told me didn’t ask, his attitude is what’s scaring me.
I’m scared with his attitude about him taking them from me.
The older kids all 3 of them say they want him in contact but they have experience of his behaviour towards them, and they don’t want their dad here living with us anymore. But they want contact with him. I am not saying he shouldn’t have contact.
However, I’m petrified this morning where this will go.
I’m ringing a number the local refuge gave me for advice.
He’s not physically it’s emotionally mostly. So it’s proving it.
Your experience or advice greatly appreciated xxxx
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I think we all get this fear. I had the same things with my ex. I was legally the resident parent and yes would threaten me with court constantly. Was always telling me the court papers were in the post. In the end u said crack on and waited for the courtbpspers that never came. Generally these men are too selfish to look after children.
In my experience if children live with mom they very rarely take them out of a stable situation. Don’t let that fool dictate to you. That’s the conditioning of the abuse. The normal arrangenent for non resident parents is alternative weekends and one night a week from school. Don’t give him more than that. Keep records of when he seen kids. How he is with you. Any verbal abuse or harrassment of you. Keep contact with him to minimum. Try and get someone else to do hsndocet of kid or he picks them up from school on his day.
It’s all about him feeling he has power and control over you. You don’t realize it yet because you feel scared of him but you are the only person who holds power here. He has none. You are the mother and the one bringing them up and tfst counts in court and in life x*x
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It’s so hard.
It’s mind games, they don’t want the responsibility of parenting 24/7 but they like having threats over your head to keep you afraid and on edge
My two youngest sons saw their dad every other weekend, hand over took place at my parents and my sons used to be returned mentally screwed up and afraid for me with the things their dad had been saying, they soon saw things for what they were and ceased contact on their own, he didn’t even fight them, he was happy to fight me with threats even though I never denied access but as soon as the boys said no more, he just walked away from them, even I was shocked.
It’s.a horrible time, broke my heart every time I said goodbye to them and I barely stopped weeping till they came back, even hostile to me, at least they were back!!!
His threats are empty but effective……until we see them for what they are
Really feel for you, it’s horrible! -
My so is at the stage now where he doesn’t want to go much now. His super dad act didn’t last long. Me and my child are close and he tells me e everything that happens at daddy and his girlfriend. His dad favours his new gf child very openly in front of our child and my son has gone from loving his dad to being quietly disappointed at who he is. He steals his birthdsy money. Empties his piggy bank. I had to let him realize who his dad was himself and I was just there for him. His daddy is to thick to realize he has lost the child. I plan with my son now when he wants to go. We pretend he is sick if he wants a break and he goes less and less.
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