School uniform AAAAHHHH

[Anonymous]

I have been giving my ex uniforms on bank holidays for months, so the kids have uniforms… I stood up for myself (YAY :/) and said it was not my responsibility to pay for him. I gave him the kids in normal clothes. I got an email saying he was going to dress them in the non uniform the next week, because I did that.

Of course I freaked. It was my fault the kids were going to school without uniforms, they would be teased blah blah. They went to school in uniforms, which he bought. The uniforms both had marks on them. Funnily enough, permanent. Oxi action washes(multiple) did not get rid of them. I am now freaking about sending messages to the school to cover the fact, because I know he has stained clothes to get me in trouble before.

[KIP.]

Just keep those stained uniforms for him. Send them with the kids the next time he has them. It’s upto him/the kids and the school if they have a problem. He’s done this to get a reaction from you. Don’t give it to him.

[diymum@1]

i had this it was actually my ex MIL she would take the clothes off my daughter and put old shabby ones on her. she kept the good clothes and put them away in a cupboard it cost me a fortune i was buying new clothes all the time. i look back and this was to under mine me as a mother. id be honest with the school – id write to them and explain there have been family problems that being domestic abuse – that you would like to be updated on if the kids are being sent to school appropriately by your ex. you could always go and speak to them face to face. you could collect some written evidence especailly if this becomes chronic. i always feel abuse thrives on secrecy and their way of making you keep secrets is through shaming you. what better way of doing that is to make you look like an unfit mother? suggesting youre neglecting them -classic projection really. id let the school know what hes playing at – if this happened to me too i bet theyve seen this before many times xx love diymum

[Anonymous]

I am going to email the school. I have sent a message to the teachers, just saying that I have actually cleaned the clothes, but I am going to email safeguarding at school so they are aware and show them the message I got from him. I have been here before and because they only had his side, and me looking iller and iller they saw me as some crazy fruit loop spreading rumours.

[KIP.]

Oh dear. I didn’t realise this was his pattern. Where on earth do these men get the time for this kind of nonsense. Well done for keeping his messages. Yes, shame him with the school. Maybe he will think twice next time. I know that feeling of crazy making behaviour. It’s the most frustrating thing to be made out to be the crazy one. Now you know the lengths he will go to you must protect yourself. Do everything in writing from now on. He can’t deny it then. He doesn’t deserve children. To use them to get one over on you as he see it shows his true colours x

[diymum@1]

have you got womens aid on side? id also get the GP involved just given this is abuse towards you – coersive controlling behaviour it is classed as child abuse. i hope the school understand it might be worth talking to them about what you know about the dynamics of this xx

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