Self confidence

[Landgirl]

Does anyone have any good tips on how to build self confidence and belief after leaving an abusive partner (emotionally). Some days I feel on top of the world and then I’m plagued by self doubt?

[KIP.]

Writing down three positive things you do each day keeps your mind in a positive state.

[Faraway]

Hi landgirl, I know what you mean about self confidence unfortunately. Today I was getting a present for a party at the shops and I saw some nice clothes (for me) but my brain instantly said – you don’t deserve it. It shocked me because I love clothes so I’m aware I need to change me thinking patterns too. For me being around close friends reminds me of what I used to be and I start to feel glimpses of my old self. I know I feel confident when I do nice things for myself like doing my hair and wearing nice clothes. Although I don’t have to energy I’m forcing myself to do these things. If you go out for an event surround yourself with people that care about you and you trust. I don’t think confidence happens overnight I think we have to grow it. I like kips idea of writing down 3 good things you did today. You could also try writing down 3 positive things about yourself to remind you that you matter. Good luck because you do matter xx

[EbonyRaven]

When I catch myself being self-critical I have started to take a mental pause, say to my mind “Thank you for that contribution, now it’s MY chance to decide”.

[Camel]

Whenever my sister catches me being down on myself she says ‘don’t be a b*tch to yourself, there’s people out there to do that.’

It’s true, be your number one fan. Pretend confidence for long enough and before long you’ll find you’re not pretending any more x

[KIP.]

Ebony raven I think that’s fab. It’s a polite way of sticking two fingers up to the negative voice. I saw a celebrity with a tattoo that says ‘I love You’. Just keep reminding yourself to love yourself x

[Tiffany]

I found it really helpful to notice and then decide if this was something I actually believed or if it was something my abuser had told me. It was astonishing how often the negative voice in my head belonged to my ex!

Playing around with my look also helped with my self confidence as my ex had been very controlling of what I wore and didn’t allow me to change my hair or wear makeup that didn’t look ‘natural’. Trying out lots of styles helped me realise what I actually liked and that made me more confident.

[White Rose]

Time…..give yourself time.
Self belief…..you’ve got this, believe in yourself.
PMA (positive mental attitude)…..I can do this, I am a survivor, I’m amazing at everything I do, I don’t need to change I’m perfect as I am, I love myself, I am me, I am proud of the person I always was and glad that I will always will be me.

But mostly give yourself time to heal to identify with yourself again and to be you.

[Author]

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