What a hard pill to swallow when you realise it’s only your own lack of self with that is making you let down your child .
I’m still stuck, always about to ask him to leave but I don’t believe enough in myself to think I’m right.
He’s been quite well behaved till last night when he drew me into a disagreement, I bit. On and on he went about me not having his back, that my friends would be no where to be seen in the event if something going wrong. That I bark and snap and have no patience and it’s no wonder our child is like he is.
I kept trying to take myself away, to the bin, to walk the dog and he follows me. I find it intimidating and he says he’s not doing anything g intimidating and it’s only because he tells me the truth.
I know i need him gone but I feel so weak this morning now although in some ways he didn’t do anything, it’s just words but it makes me feel anxious.
How, when your self esteem is rock bottom do you do this?
It’s not only your self worth it’s much more complicated than that or we would all leave. It’s gaslighting, it’s his brain washing, it’s fear obligation and guilt. Start building a support network starting with women’s aid. You’re going to need help to leave this abusive controlling man. Talk to your GP about some counselling. It’s incredibly difficult and dangerous to leave an abuser x on average women return 7 times so don’t underestimate the courage it takes x