- This topic has 7 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 5 months ago by Dolly2019.
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22nd October 2020 at 4:48 pm #115524Hope2021Participant
So I ended the relationship bit were still in the same house. As both names are on and he is refusing to leave. I can’t take the emotional abuse lovebombing and then back to emotional abuse when I don’t get back with him. Over and over again. I don’t want to uproot our children and leave everything they call home because he can’t accept our relationship is over. And then I believe I have a strong case for emotional abuse snd yet as much as I hate him I can’t bring myself go report him to the police. What’s wrong with me? I feel so sick haven’t eaten properly for a week still have to work and look after kids. I just want this to stop and seriously can’t see a way out of this situation
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22nd October 2020 at 5:30 pm #115528gettingtiredParticipant
Just sending support. I know how you’re feeling as I’m in that same boat as you feeling like there is no end in sight. I also could never bare to trash his name by reporting anything or saying what he has done to people. It’s a horrible situation to be in. Have you spoken to your local Women’s aid? I dont have one local to me unfortunately but a lot of people on here always advise everyone to seek them out for support/advice. x
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29th October 2020 at 1:43 pm #115793Dolly2019Participant
It is very hard being in your position. I had to live with my ex husband for a year because he wouldn’t move out until he felt financially safe to do it. The emotional abuse was horrific. Real mental torture. Going dating and storing gifts in the boot of my car etc. Really sh*tty stuff.
Hold strong. Close down, go grey rock. Avoid eye contact and keep a mental checklist of all the hateful things he has done to stay strong. You will find freedom. X
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22nd October 2020 at 7:11 pm #115530KIP.Participant
Please contact your local women’s aid. Talk to a solicitor, most offer free initial consultations. He’s wearing you down but you must put yourself first as your kids need you. Force yourself to eat and drink. Please realise he will destroy you if he can. You will need to choose between your health and his and you have kids to think about. He’s playing awful mind games and this is a very dangerous time for women when they end things. If he was abusive before he will get so much worse now as he tries to regain control. Soon he will be using the kids as leverage and emotional blackmail. Is there anywhere you can go to stay in the meantime with the kids.
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23rd October 2020 at 6:54 am #115534BeautifuldayParticipant
Please go and see a solicitor for free advice lots offer this, write down everything you want to know in that 30mins its surprising how much you can ask. If you like the solicitor keep them on hand ready for when you feel strong enough to contact them again. Have you contacted womens aid? I would recommend you do this also im so glad I did and honestly I think it was because of womens aid and this forum that I gained the courage and strength to file for divorce. You can do this lovely. Om also living in the same house at the moment its horrible but im trying to take each day as it comes and take baby steps that’s all we can do and then we will get there xx
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25th October 2020 at 8:46 am #115606Swan123Participant
Same place. Sending hugs and support. xx
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28th October 2020 at 12:31 pm #115753MatrixDropoutParticipant
Same place and totally exhausted
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29th October 2020 at 11:12 am #115787CecileParticipant
You can apply for a non molestation order. You don’t even need a solicitor you can file it at court yourself. Name the abuse. Point a finger at him, by going to the police to make a complaint then filing for the order. I did this and it almost happened by accident, but the police officer took it so seriously I made a long statement of decades I’d emotional and physical abuse. Then made the non molestation application as advised by the police and several other professionals. Even afterwards I wondered if I was doing the wrong thing. Then I remember when I told my gp during a routine visit and she nodded, clapped and said “thank god”.due to some delay I ended up leaving but that application scared him, the first time I ever saw it. They are cowards. Use the law to protect you, call him out and name the abuse, get him out and be safe. You will wonder afterwards why you did not do it sooner.
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