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    • #104945
      Springfield@2020
      Participant

      Hi everyone
      I was in a short term relationship but I have had an experience in it that did not feel right and only now (detail removed by moderator) am I coming to the conclusion that I was sexually assaulted but yet I feel like I need clarification.
      During our relationship he would be overbearing in terms of the sexual stuff. I could be on the sofa watching TV and out of nowhere he would just start touching my breasts which I didn’t like as it came out of the blue with no lead up to it.
      Anyway I voiced this to him and said I didn’t like being manhandled.
      (Detail removed by moderator) later we were in the sofa and he grabbed me in what he would view as a playful way and ended up on top of me and he pulled down my top and bit my breast. It really hurt for hours agter. I told him this and he apologised. However, I ended the relationship and was honest that he made me uncomfortable and that what he did was not okay. His response was (detail removed by moderator). Then he tried to say that he is an unloveable man and he wished he kept his guard up with me. Needless to say I told him that emotional manipulation was not going to work.
      I believe this to be sexual assault but am wondering if I am overracting?

    • #104947
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Hi there,

      This is absolutely a sexual assault, you are not overreacting at all. This man is using predatory actions and has a sense of ‘entitlement’ that as you are in a relationship he has assumed consent that he can touch you and do what he likes to you sexually. His excuse of ‘getting carried away’ is not an excuse at all, he was well aware of what he was doing. Well done too for recognising his manipulation of trying to twist this horrible incident in to a ‘pity party’ for him.

      Did he watch a lot of pornorgraphy do you know? There is an increased connection to this type of behaviour with partners by men who watch a lot of pornography and are assuming that rough sex like this is okay in relationships due to what they are watching on line.

      Do you have any photographic evidence of the bite mark to your breast, or see a GP, or have any mark where he bit you? I would suggest that you report this man to the Police for sexual assault as this is quite dangerous and concerning behaviour and any evidence you have of the assault will be helpful. I think he should at least be interviewed by the Police and this is on record, he may even already be known to the Police for other sexual offences.

      If you don’t want to report it officially you can look up the details of your local SARC (Sexual Abuse Referral Centre) and speak to them for some advice and support.

      Well done for ending this relationship and getting out before it got worse. I hope you recover from this soon.

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