This topic contains 15 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Sadness 6 months ago.

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  • #72197
     Sadness 
    Participant

    I just feel broken and lonely !Only a couple of hours ago my husband crabbed by boob my private area pulled his pants down and made me masterbate him we have been in separate rooms for 3 months He did this by holding me down on the couch watching me cry and beg him to stop then made me go up stairs to watch him kill himself verbally torchure me making me look at him making me answer him but got angry with my answers !!!he is now gone to a doctor for help !!It’s still all about him and I’m here doing homework with my kids pretending to have a headache because I look a state I wish I was dead but I could never leave my 4 children with that man !he was a good man and it wasn’t a mask I don’t know what went wrong !

  • #72198
     KIP. 
    Participant

    That’s appalling illegal behaviour. If he did it to anyone else and was convicted he would go to jail for a very long time. Please contact women’s aid for a safe exit plan. You can go to a refuge short term with your children while they help you find housing. A man that does that shouldn’t be allowed near children. Even if they are his own. They are very good at keeping the mask on. He won’t change. It’s upto you to find help and strength to break free with your children. You cannot be a good mum and enjoy your children while being sexually abused. Try ringing the rape crisis helpline or the women’s aid helpline. My ex was horrendous too but I broke free. They are also liars. He won’t be going for help, it will be just another big excuse to take the spotlight off his disgusting behaviour. Keep reaching out for help. I was once trapped by the fog of abuse. The Fear Obligation and Guilt.

  • #72215
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi there,

    What he has done is completely unacceptable. It sounds like it was terrifying. Abusive men want to have power and control over women and they can use sex to exert power in this way.

    As mentioned you can call Rape Crisis for more support around this. There is support out there, you don’t have to suffer this burden alone.

    Take care and keep posting

    Best Wishes,
    Lisa

  • #72217
     Borntobefree 
    Participant

    Oh sadness
    What an evil man .please report the abuse Hun .don’t suffer in silence there is help out there … You need to get away with your kids and be safe .it’s a hard decision to make and not easy by far .but you can do this sending you hugs x

  • #72250
     Sadness 
    Participant

    But who will believe me that my husband did that to me he won’t admit it

  • #72253
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I believe you. Every woman on here believes you. I used to think the same way but once I spoke upnit one person doubted my story. Keep a secret journal of his actions. Tell your GP. I actually recorded my assault. Reach out to women’s aid for support x

  • #72255
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    There are many people who will believe you sweetheart. I believe you with all my heart. Everyone of us on here believes you too. Please please escape from this man, contacting WA, they can help you make a safe exit plan. What he had done to you is abhorrent, there is a better life waiting for you and your children. I know you must be so scared, but he’s raped you, you can make a complaint to the police. WA can help you with that every step of the way. I pray to God you’re safe from him. Also I’d not believe he went to see the doctor but you can make an appointment to see your doctor, you can talk things over with them to. Can you take pictures of any marks he’s left, write down his behaviour from now onwards, dates, times z if anyone was there, and when you’re stronger, start writing down how he’s treated you previously and how it’s made you feel too. There’s so much help available, you’re right in the middle of the storm just now and won’t be able to see it for the fear you live with daily. Your safety is all that matters. No one who says they love and care for you would treat anyone in this way. Thank you for taking the time and finding the strength to post on here, it must have taken a lot of courage to do even this.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72261
     Borntobefree 
    Participant

    Hi sadness
    Your mental health will get worse .we believe every single word you are saying ..freedom is only a step away you can do this x

  • #72262
     Landy 
    Participant

    The police deal with men like this every day. They will believe you. Please leave. We’re here x

  • #72263
     Benson 
    Participant

    Hi Sadness, it is horrific what you have been through, we all believe you. Please tell someone what has happened, it will escalate and you need to keep yourself and your children safe. From experience, telling a friend, not the detail but just a bit of what happens will help. It will help you process it and your friend can help support you or even help you make a plan. Also by telling a friend, if you went to the police this provides evidence – my friend was called as a witness in court. I recorded the assaults etc on my phone through text, by texting him and telling him how he hurt me, giving a bit of detail to what had happened. Then when I finally had enough courage to leave and go to the police this was used as evidence. My local SARC were amazing – you can ring them, talk to them face to face, they won’t force you to go to the police, but help you process what happened and support you.

    Keep posting on here, the advice and support is immense, it has and continues to help me through my darkest moments.

  • #72274
     Sadness 
    Participant

    Benson he is very clever if I mention anything on text he just text back saying when will the lies stop I know his family may believe him but no one else will but I’m just so broken can’t get it out of my head and he left went to his m**s house everyone fussing over him trying to help him with his mental health and I’m here broken with 4 children I can’t even eat my stomach is in knots I’m just dragging my feet around putting on a half a smile for my kids .im going to change my number (detail removed by moderator) because I can’t deal with the text from him he told me he took a overdose (detail removed by moderator) I couldn’t even contact his family because he could have been up in his room watching a movie and they would only think I’m mad again because that’s what he does if he did take it I really don’t care but his too selfish to even do that hel make me suffer more .I have been keeping a journal for a while now I can’t even read it back it breaks my heart thanks for advice cuts just so hard to talk I just want it all to go away it’s consuming my mind

  • #72275
     KIP. 
    Participant

    That text you have is evidence. Next time he tells you he has taken an overdose dial 999 and send an ambulance to him. He will quickly stop messing you about when the ambulance men arrive. You have every right not to see him. To have zero contact with him. Our brains stop functioning properly when dealing with an abuser. Our headspace shrinks leaving little for rational thought so you really need to get outside help. Once you reach out there is lots of help out there for you. Google Gaslighting. It’s crazy making behaviour.

  • #72276
     KIP. 
    Participant

    He is not your responsibility. He’s draining your life and spirit which your children should be thriving off. Abusers are emotional vampires. It’s ok to save yourself and your children. You do not have to have this man in your life. Please get help from women’s aid, your GP, the police or any trusted friend.

  • #72279
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    please dont turn to his family, womens aid will point you in the right direction. they will believe you and so will the police. Why would you make it up when you have four kids to support, that just wouldnt be condusive. they will see that its time to get an exit plan together, get all the support you can. write down all that you can recall. dont let him away with this his family wont be seen as legitimate people to vouch for him theyre going to be bias. With the GP and other professional bodies backing you youll be taken seriously. I know your hurting and feeling shaken but try to push for your right to be heard, youll be believed they have to, and they will know who is genuine. and you are luv diy mum

  • #72281
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi sadness, I hope you are doing okay. That text he sent is emotional/manipulative blackmail. IF he says he’s od’d again, definately call am ambulance. Even if he tries to make out its you who is crazy, you have the texts to say he’s done it. Keep posting on here, if he’s at his parents, let’s him stay there. Don’t let him back in. He’ll try to say he’s going to court to get custody, all sorts, someone who threatens suicide as a manipulation, will not get custody, but all that’s in the future and might not even happen. He’ll know what your worst fears are and will try to play on them. You don’t have to press charges but if you can report what he did, that’s evidence for future assaults (if any). There are so many ladies on here, who have gone through what you go through, they are the best ones to hear what they are saying. They know the agencies who will help you. It takes courage to overcome fear. He is the one who is making you afraid. Have courage my friend.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72514
     Sadness 
    Participant

    Thanks IWMB he stayed away heating broke and he came and fixed it came in calmly looked ashamed .I can’t even think about him now as I feel my mental head isn’t great and I’m just trying to get through day by day I feel my kids deserve more will I ever feel my self again why is this happening to me why did I put up with it for so long I saw this comming I even told him I did I saw the red flag and it did this was a eye opener for him also and left so easy because he new it was so wrong and he has admitted that .Life just isn’t fair

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